I do NOT get it, but...

I've found that I easily become addicted to reality TV...show me 10 minutes of a reality show and it's not uncommon for me to be more or less hooked (although I would like to state clearly for the record that I did watch about 10 minutes of Jersey Shore and the only effect it had on me was extreme disgust...there is absolutely NO worry of me getting hooked on that one). I don't necessarily have to watch every episode of these reality shows, but I like to watch frequently enough that I know what's going on (or, if it's a competition-type reality show, who's been sent home and such).

However, there's one reality show that sucked me in more than the others...TLC's Sister Wives. I'm not sure exactly why it fascinated me so much; maybe it was because I was raised as a Mormon and polygamy is a big part of their history, maybe it was because this particular family lives pretty close to me (on one episode one of the wives went to her gyno b/c she was pregnant, and her gyno is totally part of the same practice mine is...I was like, "Hey, I go to that building for MY doctor appointments!"), most likely it's a combination of the two. Either way, I saw one episode and actually made sure I watched the rest of them (I almost never plan to watch anything...typically I watch TV because I have nothing else to do, not because "my show is on")...then the night of the season finale TLC had a marathon prior to the last episode and I honestly sat and watched for hours so I could see all the episodes in order (I'd missed the first few...and then of course I had to see the last one).

My initial reaction was..."Damn, this is so wrong, those women are nuts!" Not to mention I think men who live a polygamous lifestyle are hypocrites (this guy, despite the fact that he seems like a pretty nice fellow, is no exception...he took his first wife to dinner for their anniversary and as she was trying to express her struggles w/jealousy due to him courting another woman who later became wife #4, he commented on how "vulgar" it would be if she were to be interested in another man...um, hello?). But still I continued to watch.

And the more I watched, the more I was forced to take the time to really ponder my philosophy on their lifestyle. I have always had a "live and let live" philosophy...basically, I don't care what people choose to do with their lives as long as it's not hurting anybody else...in my mind, there are very few exceptions to this philosophy. However, polygamy has always been one of those exceptions to me...I've always pictured it as being extremely degrading to those who I assumed were unfortunate brainwashed women, and I am not ok with perverts like Warren Jeffs marrying middle-aged men to underage teenage girls...

...but in this case, I didn't see any evidence of their lifestyle having a negative effect on anyone, and here's why:
-They're not civilly married so they're not breaking the law, all the wives were of legal age when they got married, and all chose it willingly (hell, one of them was raised as a mainstream Mormon and left her family and friends behind because she believes so strongly in their lifestyle) and continue to choose to remain in that lifestyle.
-It's come up a couple times at work and some of my co-workers have expressed their concern that the show will further the assumption that Mormons are still practicing polygamy, but in the very first episode the husband was very sure to specify that they are NOT mainstream Mormons and aren't really even a facet of that religion. Honestly, Mormons should probably be more worried about Big Love when it comes to that misconception.
-Some argue that being raised in a polygamous home has a negative effect on the kids, but it doesn't appear to. One of their daughters even expressed how she has no intention of being in a polygamous relationship when she gets married, and her parents are all supportive of that. These kids are not being told that they will be forced to live that lifestyle in their marriages if they don't want to...it doesn't even appear that they're expected to be in polygamous relationships at all.

Of course a reality TV show doesn't show you EVERYTHING that goes on and maybe my conclusions are way off base...but from what I see, their lifestyle works for them and they're happy. They don't try to shove it in anyone's face and they don't appear to even be promoting it...they seem to have a very firm grasp on the fact that their lifestyle is not appealing to most people. So I asked myself how I can argue for something like gay marriage on the grounds that the gay lifestyle is not hurting anyone and then turn around and say these polygamists shouldn't be allowed to live how they choose when they're not hurting anyone either? I really don't want to be a hypocrite.

So ultimately, my conclusion is that while I genuinely do not understand why anyone would choose to live that way (even the men...when my hubby jokes about becoming a polygamist I remind him he has way too much estrogen to deal with already...yeah, I'm definitely a handful and I think most women are), this is the life these people picked...and in this particular case, that's fine with me.

Uhhh...what are you doing??

Confession time...ok, it's not really a confession, it's more like "here's a random fact about Julie that you probably didn't know, and really don't NEED to know...at all:" I am extremely self-conscious when using the restroom (yup, this story is off to a great start!). Example: some married couples can use the bathroom right in front of each other; I've been married 7 years and I still lock the door and turn on the fan. Even for #1. Seriously. I'll even shut the door when I'm home alone, lest the cats wander in and see me.

And it's even worse when I'm at work (especially now that I'm expecting, simply because the frequency has increased haha). As you all know, I work in a call center...which equals one big building full of lots of people. Naturally, the bathrooms there accomodate more than one individual. If the bathroom is completely vacant when I need to use it, of course I'm fine. But if other people happen to be there...bad times for me. Sometimes if I go in and there are people already there, I will turn around and come back later. If someone comes in while I'm already in there, I literally freeze. And I wait until they have done their thing, washed their hands (would you believe that some people actually don't wash their hands??? It's disgusting!!), and walked completely out the door before resuming.

So on Friday I was in there...had just sat down when the bathroom door opened and someone walked in. So I waited...whoever it was mozied on into a stall, got the toilet seat protector paper thingie situated, etc...and I thought she'd do her thing and get going so I could do mine. But instead of doing what people normally do in the restroom, she didn't do anything. "Uh oh..." I figured I had another shy restroom user on my hands. Which can be really bad, naturally, because someone has to go...cuz if we're both too mortified...well, it's a problem. I decided to wait it out. So wait I did.

And then, after a few seconds, what did I hear? Clicking...the clicking of little buttons. Wait, is that your phone? Are you TEXTING??? Who TEXTS in the bathroom???? Last I checked, bathrooms are not the ideal location for using your cell phone (unless you're a real estate agent...man, those guys will talk on their phones no matter where they are!!). Annoyed, I continued to wait. And she continued to text. I'm telling you, it must have been a super important conversation b/c it went on for a while. So long, in fact, that I was forced to break my bathroom policy because honestly, I needed to get back to work...people were going to start wondering where I'd gone and I really wasn't feeling up to explaining it.

SO...I did what I had to do. And wouldn't you know, once I'd taken that leap of faith apparently her really important conversation was over and she proceded to do what I assume she came in there to do in the first place.

Now, the only thing worse than someone else hearing you do your business is someone else hearing you do your business and then seeing you as you wash your hands. I don't want anyone to KNOW what I specifically sound like when I do that (irrational fear, anyone???). Plus I really hate having to talk to people in the bathroom. In my opinion, it's one of the worst places to have a conversation. For some reason other people do not feel that way...there have been several times when people have walked in while I'm washing my hands and decided to chitchat. Some have even talked to me while doing their thing! Holy awkward, Batman! So naturally, when I realized this girl was probably going to see me washing my hands and, depending on who it was, potentially strike up a conversation with me, panic set in.

FORTUNATELY FOR ME, she must have had a really complicated belt...or was just as panicked as I was (maybe she was humiliated that someone heard her texting in the bathroom...although if that was going to be a concern, she probably wouldn't have done it in the first place)...either way, I managed to wash my hands and get out of there before she emerged from the stall.

*Huge sigh of relief*

Moral of the story? Please do not text while in the bathroom. It's creepy and weird, and you never know if there's someone like me 2 stalls over having a panic attack. Thank you.

Ian McKellen is friggin' awesome

Love, love, LOVE it!



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I Win

I would like you all to know...

...that I successfully evaded the skunk that darted out in front of my car on my way home from work tonight.

That's right, kamikaze skunk, I WIN.

I'm so creative...or not

Jacob and I were invited to a few Halloween parties this year...I wasn't really feeling motivated to dress up (I was NOT about to paint a jack-o-lantern on my belly), but I managed to do a little something (sorry, the lighting sucks)...

Here's a close up of my "name tag."

A bit bratty I suppose, but it got a lot of laughs... :-)

Happy Halloween!

I can't think of a better way to celebrate Halloween than by watching this awesome video. ;-)

Story Time

So, now that the cat's out of the bag about the in vitro working, I thought I'd write a little somethin somethin about what the procedure is actually like. The kids can read it when they're older and be grateful to Mom for what she had to go through to bring them into existence haha.

I honestly had no idea how much STUFF goes into the whole process. The clinic we went through (love, love LOVE them...sooooo grateful to the person who referred me there!) had a class that Jacob and I took prior to actually starting anything to give us an idea of what we were signing up for, but there's only so much they can say to prepare you, if you know what I mean. The process sounds a wee bit different on paper.

Anyway, it started with a month of birth control pills...cuz you have to let the ovaries rest before running a marathon, was how they explained it. No biggie there. Then came the daily shots of a drug to prevent premature ovulation...that went on for a few weeks before adding a bunch of other stuff to it. It was pretty crazy--they had a whole sheet to explain how to mix up all the different medications into one big shot. Let me tell you, by the time it was all over I was extremely tired of sticking myself. Yeah. So once I started giving myself the big shots, I would go in every other day to have my blood drawn and to have an ultrasound to see how many follicles my ovaries were producing. In a normal cycle, one ovary produces one follicle every month...they were hoping to get at least 7 or 8 from each of mine. Fun, right? Haha it actually wasn't too bad...I thought I would feel a lot worse than I actually did.

So yeah, once I had enough follicles they scheduled me for surgery to retrieve them a couple days later...I only had to take one more shot (praise all that is good for that!) and haven't had to stick myself since. Surgery itself was super easy for me, of course, since I was unconscious for it. I really don't remember too much about that day...I remember there being pain, and then the nurse put something warm and fuzzy in my IV and it went away. I remember getting home and making myself comfy on the couch and then I think at some point I told Jacob I required a roast beef sandwich so he went to Arby's. Yeah. Pretty sure I slept for the rest of the day...and the night.

Ok heads up...this next part may be TMI for some of you, so read on if you dare...

A few days later we had 8 fertilized embryos of high quality so it was time to put a couple of them back in. In all honesty I wish they'd have put me under for this part as well haha. My instructions were to show up at the clinic an hour before my scheduled procedure with a half-full bladder (which I learned is b/c that flattens the uterus, which is the ideal condition for it to be in when they put the embryos back in). Now, those of you who know me very well understand that I have a pretty freaking small bladder, so this part made me very nervous. Regardless, I did as I was told. Unfortunately for me, that day they were short-staffed and were running late. Very soon my half-full bladder became a full one. They finally took us back, gave me some valium and assured us that it wouldn't be long until it was time to go into the OR (yeah, they have their own OR...gotta do all this stuff in a sterile environment...it's pretty awesome). By the time it was our turn, I was pretty much ready to burst. But I figured it couldn't take more than a couple minutes, right?

Wrong.

All in all I don't think I was back there for more than about 20 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. First they had me lie down on the table, then they put the damn speculum in me. You men will NEVER understand what that feels like but any woman who's been to the gyno and had a yearly exam knows exactly how uncomfortable it is to have one of those in you. Seriously. Then add the fact that it was pushing up on my extremely full bladder and you'll understand the panic I felt. It took a couple minutes for them to finish prepping me...I'll spare you the details on that...and then the embryologist had to come in from the lab and ask me a bunch of questions to make sure I was really me so they could be sure they would be putting the correct embryos in (I'm very grateful for their thoroughness but at the time was not pleased with what I felt was an unnecessary identity check...haha). Once he was satisfied that I was who I said I was, he handed the embryos over to the doctor, who then had his assistant place the ultrasound thingie on my belly so he could make sure he put them in the right place.

Ok, so there I was...my bladder was full to the point of bursting, I had the speculum pushing up on it, and now I had the stupid ultrasound thing pushing down on it. I was so ready to cry...Jacob said the look on my face was one of intense focus and extreme terror. The doctor was chatting pleasantly as he did his thing and I could barely respond because the whole time I was telling myself "don't pee on the doctor, don't pee on the doctor!" Fortunately for everyone involved, I didn't. After the embryos were in and the doctor was kind of enough to take away anything pushing up or down on my bladder, I had to lay on the table for another 10 minutes. Which, at that point, seemed like nothing compared to what I had just been through. However, you can bet once they told me the time was up, I headed straight for the bathroom. I don't think I've ever been so grateful to go in my entire life, no exaggeration (and I'm pretty sure the nurses got a kick out of my extreme haste haha). Then the valium finally kicked in and I spent the rest of the day in a relaxed haze. Good times.

So there you have it...my in vitro story. Of course it was completely worth it...I'd have gone through a lot more if it meant being able to get pregnant (but am grateful I didn't have to). And really, I have no doubt that labor and delivery is probably going to make all this seem like cake. But I'm not going to worry about that until it gets here. :-)