Probably the Last Ones...

Hi friends...

Here are the most recent belly pics (yes Cajsa my dear, these are mainly for you)...I had Jacob take a couple the other night and another one today. These will probably be the last ones I post since even though I'm no longer scheduled for an induction this week, I will have them for sure by the 31st (my doctor doesn't let his twin moms go past 38 weeks)...which is obviously later than I'd like but not too awful...and then I can post pics of them instead. :-)

So here you have it...the belly at 35 weeks...

Yeah, the grey striped shirt does a better job of making the belly look smaller than it actually is...don't know if you can tell much, but they've dropped a bit...which I hope means that maybe they're planning on coming soon.

I think this is my "I'm sooooooooooooo ready to be done" expression haha.

I was going to post pics of my swollen feet as well, but I don't want to scare anyone...seriously, I don't. Can't wait for them to be back to their normal size (so I can wear my shoes again). :-)

So yeah, there you have it. I'll keep you posted on if they decide to induce me on the 24th (I hope I hope I hope) and of course I'll let y'all know once the boys are here...and thanks to all for your encouraging comments and kind words. I know my posts have been super whiny lately. Hopefully there won't be any more of those from now on...

The Perinatologist is a Sadist

So...went to the hospital today for my follow up appt w/the perinatologist. Except it wasn't the same Dr. I saw last time, it was a new perinatologist who told me that despite what the other one said, she doesn't think I need to deliver at 36 weeks...she actually doesn't know when I should, but she'll recommend to my gyno to have me come back in 2 weeks and "we'll go from there."

Um...pardon me...we'll go from there????? You guys give me a date, snatch it away and don't even give me any idea of what the new date could be?? WTF.

So scratch the 17th, that ain't happening. Unless by the good graces of the universe I go into labor on my own. I could. I'm not counting on it.

I will do what's best for the babies but quite frankly I'm beyond exhausted, I'm in pain, my ankles and feet are constantly swollen no matter what I do, I'm moody (really Julie? We couldn't tell...), I'm reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally sick of going to the hospital almost daily to be monitored and I hate the fact that we planned everything around that date (which...yes, probably shouldn't have done that but I really didn't think they'd change it on me) and now I'm left with no game plan. I need a game plan. I don't do well with "let's wait and see." There was a light at the end of the tunnel and while it's still there, it got a lot smaller today. Lights at the end of tunnels aren't supposed to do that.

And I feel like a bad mom because I feel like I'm being selfish and should be happy that the babies will be cooking a little longer instead of being devastated that they won't be here as soon as I thought they would (and please...please...nobody tell me the longer they're in me the better and this will help them avoid the NICU, etc. I am very aware of these things, I am. Which is part of why I feel so guilty about being sad that they're pushing the induction back).

Stupid perinatologist...I don't want to come see you in 2 more weeks, I want to have my babies.

My next gyno appt is on Tuesday, I'm going to see what he thinks about letting me be induced at 37 weeks (which is full term). If he says no, then I will be a good pregnant lady and go back to see the sadist for her expert opinion on the matter. If he says yes, then SCREW THAT.

And now...since I feel really awful about the last few posts being so negative, here is something I found on the "WIN" section of failblog so I can end on a slightly amusing note. :-)



see more funny videos, and check out our Insanity Wolf lols!

Seclusion

Hello everyone.

There are missed calls that haven't been returned, voicemails I haven't even listened to, and emails I haven't answered. I'm still here, I'm still alive, I'm just not really fit for human contact at the present time. I sincerely apologize to all those I've neglected.

The past 2 weeks have been a roller coaster. While the complication of one of the babies being too small is fairly common for twins and somewhat minor, it has led to almost daily doctor's appointments and visits to the hospital for monitoring which have proven to be surprisingly draining for me. One day everything will be fine, the next I'll be laying on the hospital bed sipping Sprite and watching TV when several nurses burst into the room to have me change positions every which way while barking things like, "Page her doctor, prep the OR" at each other which leave me wondering what the hell is going on...until they've stared at the computer screen next to me for a few minutes and declared it was a false alarm.

So, between stuff like that and dragging my butt to work every day, I am exhausted and on edge and don't have any desire to talk to anyone until this is all over.

I'm not throwing myself a pity party, this is what I signed up for and I know that I'm lucky...as far as high risk pregnancies go, I've barely touched the tip of the iceburg when it comes to potential complications. I just wanted to provide an explanation for my lack of contact and also give a heads up cuz it's not going to change until after the boys are born and have been given a clean bill of health.

It will all happen soon enough though...9 days left (SINGLE DIGITS!) unless I go into labor before then (which is entirely possible since I'm now officially 3 cm dilated and contracting...not regularly, but that can always change). I'll try not to write any more less than happy posts...and I'll try to get one more belly pic up for y'all too (it's HUGE haha). In the meantime, please know that your friendship doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. I'm just focusing all my energy on making it through the rest of the pregnancy. :-)

Happier News

Ok, so I'm fairly certain that my next several posts are going to be primarily baby-related...mainly because that's basically the focus of our entire life right now. But don't worry, I'm sure I'll get back to ranting about movies, politics and other stuff in no time. :-)

Anyhoo, I just wanted to post briefly with the latest update as far as the twins are concerned. I went to the hospital again yesterday for another non-stress test, and both babies are looking good. Baby B's heartrate was strong and fast, and it didn't dip down like it did last time. Baby A fell asleep so it took a bit longer for his heartrate to spike the way they wanted it to, but after they "buzzed" him (the buzzer is this little thing they put on my belly...it doesn't vibrate or anything, it just makes a buzzing noise and it woke him right up...pissed him off a little bit too, I'd say haha) he cooperated and I was able to go home after about an hour and a half of monitoring as opposed to the four hours I was there last time.

I went to my regular gyno appointment today...they checked me and I'm still dilated 2-3 cm...and they scheduled my induction for St. Patrick's day. :-) Not sure what time yet, and this isn't 100% set in stone...I have another appointment with the perinatologist next week and if he still thinks they need to come out at 36 weeks we'll keep that date. But if he feels it's ok they might try to push it back one more week, which would mean I'll be induced on the 24th (unless of course, I go into labor on my own in which case they told me at this point they won't try to stop it). Half of me says yes, keep them in there as long as possible...the other half of me says PLEASE GET THEM OUT! Haha but either way it goes down, we're excited that it's so close. My shower was last Saturday and we were very lucky to receive lots of very generous gifts...we're feeling confident that as far as "baby stuff" is concerned, we're pretty prepared.

So yeah, there you go. :-) Hopefully the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly and we don't have any more scares...and as usual, I'll keep you all posted.

Not a super happy update, but an update nonetheless...

I'm getting a wee bit tired of talking about this (it's only been a day but word travels fast), so I decided to blog about it so I don't have to keep telling the story.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for what I thought would be a routine visit...it had been 4 weeks since my last ultrasound so they did another one to check on the twins. Baby B has always measured smaller than Baby A (who is measuring right on track and has been the entire pregnancy), but apparently his rate of growth has slowed down quite a bit as of late and now he's measuring too small...as in, 25-30% smaller than he should be. The doctor very calmly told me that he was sending me to the hospital for a non-stress test (that's not out of the ordinary, most every pregnant woman gets to do those) and making me an appointment with the perinatologist to have him check on the situation. I did my best not to freak out as I waited for the appointments to be made, then I drove myself to the hospital (Jacob was working...I didn't want to ask him to leave as I wasn't sure exactly what was going on yet).

Once I got to the hospital, they took me back to labor & delivery where the nurse hooked me up to monitors for both the babies' heartbeats and another one for contractions. As I watched the printout from the machine, the nurse pointed out to me that I was having contractions...which took me by surprise, because I'd never felt anything that even closely resembled a contraction. But then a few minutes later the nurse became concerned b/c they were 4 minutes apart and seemed to be increasing in strength. Weird, right? She brought me some water and OJ in case they were being caused by dehydration. That didn't seem to change anything, and the contractions actually got strong enough that I was able to feel and start to become fairly uncomfortable by them. She then called my doctor, who had her give me a shot of something or other...and that stopped the contractions, thank goodness. Then she gave me a fetal fibronectin test, which (for those of you who don't know) was basically to determine whether or not I was in ACTUAL labor. She also checked my cervix, turns out I'm dilated to just over a 2...which isn't too big of a deal, a lot of women will dilate a little bit and walk around that way for weeks before they go into actual labor. But it was still pretty surprising to me.

Fortunately, the FFN test came back negative, but they were concerned because Baby B's heart rate wasn't being QUITE as consistent as they would have liked...it was dipping a little low from time to time. So they sent me to radiology for another ultrasound to check the fluid around the babies. Baby A has a good amount of fluid, of course, and while Baby B has what's considered to be a "normal" amount of fluid, he's on the low end of normal which is also cause for concern.

Anyway, after that I went back to L&D where they called my doctor again, and he said I was free to leave but to be sure to not miss my appointment w/the perinatologist (who is only in the hospital on Wednesdays, so I didn't see him yesterday). All in all I was in the hospital for 4 hours...FUN.

I went to work, but needless to say I was kind of a wreck so my boss was nice enough to let me go home...which was better than being at work, but still not awesome because it was a very worrisome day and I was going to be upset no matter where I was. I must say, if I'm this worried about my kids before they're even born, I can't imagine what the worry will be like once they're actually here. I might be kinda screwed.

Anyhoo, fast forward to today...after a night of basically no sleep, I headed over to the hospital for my appointment with the perinatologist. Jacob was able to join me this time, which was nice. Once they called us back, the ultrasound tech gave me the most detailed ultrasound I've had to date...she measured practically EVERYTHING on the babies (that's not a complaint), and then the doctor came in and measured the few things she hadn't. He didn't seem overly alarmed, but was very adamant that I be on alert for any decrease in activity (done and done), and now I get to go to the hospital a few times a week for more non-stress tests, I'm to see my gyno every week (which they wanted me to do anyway), and then see the perinatologist again in 2 weeks. He also said the boys will need to be delivered no later than 36 weeks (I'll hit the 36 week mark 3 weeks from tomorrow, in case anyone was wondering), unless they find something else that gives them cause for alarm, in which case they'll probably deliver the boys even earlier.

Soooooo...that is the most current update I have. I'm feeling slightly less panicked, but it's still not a happy situation, obviously. I'm super grateful that they're monitoring me so closely (although I have a feeling I'm going to be REALLY sick of the hospital by the time this is all said and done), and my brain tells me everything is going to work out fine. Once I can convince my heart of that, we'll be good to go. I know it sounds cliche, but HONESTLY, all I want is for both of my boys to be healthy and happy.

I'll keep you all posted.

A Rant...by Julie

So...it's surely just the pregnancy hormones (gotta play that card while I still have it...only 7 weeks left!!!), but I have been feeling a little down in the dumps lately about the world. The whole world. Ok, not really (uh, can we say drama queen?? Sheesh.). But I feel like a lot of people are being extra stupid lately.

FOR EXAMPLE....

Here are some things I personally feel no one should ever say to a pregnant person:
#1-"You're waddling!" Yes, thank you for emphasizing that the way I walk rather closely resembles that of a penguin. I really needed you to point that out, because I wasn't sure anyone else was noticing it as much as I am.

#2-"Your belly is REALLY sticking out now!" Well, believe it or not, other than what I can see in the mirror, the fact that I can no longer put on pants without faceplanting, bending over to pick things up makes me want to cry, tying shoelaces is next to impossible, getting off the couch requires a rather large amount of loud grunting and my back is constantly aching has made that very apparent to me. So in other words, yes, I've noticed.

#3-(While pointing at my formerly an "inny" and now very much an "outie" belly button) "Oh look, you're almost done!" DO I LOOK LIKE AN EFFING TURKEY TO YOU??????

Good times friends, good times.

Then we have work (WHY did I decide to work right up until I go into labor?? Oh yeah, that's right, money and health insurance. Silly me!). While there are plenty of jerks in this country who think it's a stellar idea to call and yell at people in an attempt to get their own way, I feel like my calls have been extra crazy/stupid lately. Usually this happens when it's a full moon (I'm actually not kidding about that one, I swear we get more psycho calls during a full moon than at any other time), but the next full moon isn't until February 18th so I feel like this is a bit premature. But here are some of the calls I've been dealing with in the past few days:
-Man calls in to try to cancel his mother's acct, is escalated to my team lead (each supervisor has a team lead to assist them as well as take escalated calls), who listens to his concerns and does her best to seriously respond to each one of them (she sits right next to me, so I can hear everything she's saying). Somehow he gets it into his head that she's laughing at him, and demands that she stop. She assures him she is in no way laughing at him. He continues to accuse her of giggling and then tells her he wants to speak to her manager, so the call comes to me. I take it, I listen, I respond almost exactly the same way she did (actually, I almost do laugh at one point b/c he keeps saying "this is riddikulus" and I have to resist the urge to ask him if he needs to banish any Boggarts...), and he tells me how nice is it to be taken seriously and not laughed at.

-Man calls in, wants to cancel prior to the end of his contract, is told the penalty for doing so (which is a pretty hefty monetary sum), doesn't like it...so he hangs up. Then he has his DAD call in to talk to us. Mind you, I have access to his DOB and this guy is 35 years old. Apparently you're never too old to have Daddy try to help get you out of the things you don't want to take responsibility for. Dad wants to speak to a manager, and I once again get the call. Dad proceeds to tell me that even though his son admits to not reading the contract before or after signing it, we need to cancel the acct w/out penalty because "it's just not fair." And that's his ONLY reason. Please sir, take that to a court of law and see what the judge tells you.

And, last but not least, my "favorite" call of the week...
-Lady calls in, gets mad at the agent she's speaking to, asks to speak to a manager. I get the call. Somehow before she's transferred to me, something gets lost in translation so she thinks she's going to be speaking to a different manager whose name sounds kind of similar to mine. Because she is speaking to me and not the other person, she becomes convinced that the other person DOESN'T EXIST. I then spend a good portion of the call assuring her that the other person does indeed exist as I do work with him on a regular basis, he is just out of the office today. She is no longer interested in talking about the original issue she called to discuss, she just wants to focus on the fact that we claim to be working with someone she thinks isn't real.

See what I mean? Crazies, all of them.

And then...we have ME. I think I am annoying myself more than any of this other stuff annoys me. I am so moody and emotional (I'll cry at just about anything nowadays) and despite my best efforts I usually fail when it comes to remaining in control of what I say. For example, tonight at work an agent from another department came and lectured one of my agents on one of our policies (which he was TOTALLY wrong about, may I add). He was super rude about it, and when my agent tried to say something the other guy interrupted him and said "I'm not done" and then continued w/his lecture. I was LIVID and told the other guy to get back to his own department and if he has a complaint about something in our department he needs to follow the proper chain of command to report it because he's not a manager and has no right to talk to my agent that way. Then a couple hrs later that same agent (my agent, not the guy from another dept) asked me a question about an account and when I was answering he interrupted me to point something out and what did I do? Without even thinking I said, "I know that, but you need to let me finish" and continued w/my answer. So yeah, he interrupted me but I didn't have to be all bitchy about it! GEEZ. I did apologize to him, but then I was all annoyed with myself for doing the exact same thing I'd been so pissed at the other guy for doing earlier. I mean, talk about hypocritical.

Oy. Rant over.

To conclude on a happy note that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this, I would like to say that I found enough energy to cook chicken enchiladas today and they were really, really, delicious...if I do say so myself. They were so tasty I think Jacob probably ate the rest of them so it's a good thing I managed to scarf down a couple before coming to work. :-)

The end.

Dear Fox News...

...Iraq called, they would like their place on the map back.



Oh, how I love failblog. :-)