Why Dogs Are Pathetic and Cats Are Awesome

At 8:00 this morning I was rudely awakened by the sound of my next door neighbor's dog barking. The walls here are very thin, and the sound from other apartments also travels quite well through the vents (we hear our neighbors downstairs fighting quite frequently...awkward). He is a very small dog, not sure of the breed (I want to say chihuahua), and he frequently has a tendency to get extremely distressed (I'm sure when he's left home alone). Annoyed, I rolled over and stuffed my blankets over my ears. That helped a bit, but not enough for me to fall back to sleep.

Friends, it is now 10:30 and he has still not stopped barking, howling, and whining. I keep waiting for him to bark himself hoarse but apparently dogs don't do that. I just hope that my poor husband who worked all night long and is now trying to sleep can't hear it (I pulled a fan out of the closet for white noise in the bedroom--hopefully it's enough).

So incessant barking (for whatever reason) is definitely reason #1 on my "Why dogs are pathetic and cats are awesome" list (neither of my cats has EVER meowed for 2 and a half hours...10-15 minutes maybe, but they always get the hint and realize that whining isn't going to get them what they want so they shut up), but I'd like to share a few more reasons with you:
2-Every dog I've met has the same basic personality: "love me love me love me I'll do anything for you to love me pleeeeeeaaaase pet me I need attention I can't entertain myself!" Each cat I've met has a separate and very distinct personality.
3-When driving along and encountering a dog in the road, 9 times out of 10 they will sit there and stare at you instead of removing themself from harm's way aka your car.
4-How many cats have you seen chase their own tails? Enough said.
5-You can leave a cat home alone all day and it won't whine, destroy your house, or otherwise despair over your absence. But when you come home you still get the same "I'm happy to see you" greeting.
6-Several of my neighbors get up at all hours of the night (and wee hours of the morning) to take their dogs outside to pee or poop on the sidewalk (there's grass everywhere! Come on!). Not me. My cats use this lovely thing called a litter box so I get to stay in my nice, cozy bed.
7-Dogs are stinky and you have to hose them down or try to get them to stay in the bathtub while you give them a bath. Cats clean themselves...and if for some reason I do give them a bath, I can do it in the sink and they sit still for me even if they don't like it.

I could continue, but out of respect for my dog-loving friends, I will leave it there (you may disagree with my overall conclusion but I'm sure you can see that I've made a few very good points...). So here's the skinny of it: dogs are dumb. Cats are smart. Hasn't this been scientifically proven or something (wink wink)?

Sigh. 10:55. Still going strong. It's like the energizer bunny of annoying sounds. I will stick with my cats, thank you very much.