Sentence Builder 1

1. They are jumping on the bed.

2. Those bears ard kissing.

3. Those elephants are pink.

4. There are two sharks.

5. Their noses are long.

6. He is petting his cow.

7. She has a scarf.

8. Those sheep are dancing.

9. He has a big carrot.

10. He has two cars.

Yeah.

testing...one..two...three...

I HATE having a stroke. I am glad I am not dead, but the stroke makes everything very hard. I can't type yet without help, but I am learning.

Thank you to everyone that has helped and written me. I wish I could write back.

Bye. I will write more soon. :-)

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Hello

Hi. I am home. I am glad to be back. Jacob is helping me write this.

Back to Work

I learned something today...6 weeks is a LOT longer when you're pregnant than when you're not. When I found out I was pregnant and decided how much maternity leave I wanted to take, 6 weeks sounded like more than enough. I had my babies and it seemed like I wouldn't have to come back to work forever.

And yet, here I am.

At first it was fun...I got to catch up w/my co-workers and meet a lot of new people who were hired while I was gone. But now, 5 hours into my shift, I seriously don't wanna be here any more.

Maybe it's because I'm worried about the babies behaving for Jacob (he said it took them a really long time to go to sleep tonight, sigh), maybe it's because I have a lot of stuff to catch up on which I'm not super excited about (I had almost 300 emails in my inbox...), maybe it's because I'm EXHAUSTED (that is another story in itself...I've been sick for over a month now with what turned out to be bronchitis...problem is I didn't do anything about it until it got so bad that I physically became unable to breathe while laying down, which of course made sleep literally impossible. I haven't gotten more than 3 consecutive hrs of sleep...no exaggeration...in 2 weeks)...it's surely a combination of all those things. But I really do NOT want to be here.

I genuinely thought that I would be excited to have an aspect of my life that's not 100% about babies because let's be honest, I love my kids more than I can describe but it is difficult to be in baby land all the time, but at this moment I would rather be elbow deep in poo and spit up (um, thanks for that imagery, Julie!) than here taking phone calls and trying to prioritize my to do list (which eventually ended up with me blogging...yeah, that makes sense). And working is not the only way to keep one of my feet in the "adult world." Just saying.

It's only my first day back, I should probably give it some time.

The REALLY bad part is that I don't TECHNICALLY have to be here. Jacob got a new job right after I had the twins (which was awesome but super stressful for him, poor guy) and his salary is enough that I honestly don't have to work. We also qualify for health insurance as of his hire date, so that resolves the other reason I needed to come back. Then again, it would probably be prudent to hang on to this job...the company that hired Jacob is really new and not profitable so there's a bit of risk involved as far as stability is concerned. So we could fall back on this job for income if Jacob's company doesn't stay afloat.

But right now I don't wanna.

Hopefully it gets better soon. Or maybe we'll decide it's better for everyone if I quit. Perhaps we should consult the Magic 8 ball...?

In other news, I started to write a review of Scream 4 but I don't think I'll be finishing it so let me state that first off, Jacob is awesome b/c he insists I get out of the house every so often to do something fun, and since I'm weird and like seeing movies by myself that's what I do. Jacob is the best. And secondly, I enjoy the Scream movies because I like their commentary on the horror/slasher genre. Scream 4 did not disappoint. If you recall my post from a while back lamenting screenwriters and directors' departure from the slasher film moral code...well, this movie addresses that very thing with witty and intellgent banter, and that's something I greatly appreciate. So long story short, I recommend Scream 4. It would be a way better use of your time than Insidious, which I also saw...which totally sucked (you don't even know what movie I'm talking about, I bet, since it was so awful and did horribly in theaters).

Ok. That is all for now. Until next time...bye.

All is Right in Our World...

...now that our sweet baby Jaxon is out of the hospital and home with us where he belongs. :-)

On Thursday morning the pediatrician called and said he could come home on Friday as long as I could come spend the night with him in the hospital so I could get used to all his equipment. He's on oxygen and a heart monitor, so I had to go learn how to use all that stuff. So I spent Thursday night in a hospital room w/him, then I got to take him home yesterday just in time for his 2 week doctor's appointment (which included his circumcision, poor guy). Doc says hopefully he'll be able to go off the oxygen in a couple of weeks.

So yeah, my kid is adorable, as is his brother (who is already a whopping 6 lbs 9 oz...Jaxon is 5 lbs 7 oz)...

We have them sleeping in their pack 'n play for now, which works out pretty well. They've been pretty good to us as far as sleep is concerned...we get up every few hours to feed them and then put them back down and they usually go right back to sleep. We've been pretty lucky I think, I'm still pretty sleep-deprived but I think considering the fact that I'm a first time mom with twins, being able to get a few hours of sleep here and there is the most I can hope for so I won't complain.

Anyway, there's the happy update for you all. I'm sure I will be posting more pics soon as well as getting back to ranting and raving about something other than how much I'm sick of being pregnant (haha for the record, I LOVE not being pregnant...I'm already back in my pre-pregnancy pants and I can wear shoes again!!).

Love you all. :-)

Yup, I'm Alive...Kinda

Just wanted to post a brief update before you all write me off as being dead...

My blood pressure spiked even more last Friday so my gyno decided to induce me that day...was admitted to the hospital around 1pm, doc broke my water at 3pm, got my epidural (the first time...took them 3 times to get it in) at 4pm, then again at 7pm (they had to take it out b/c it was only working on one side, took them another 3 tries to get it back in but it actually worked after all that), was wheeled back to the OR at 10pm (I didn't have a c-section, it's standard procedure to deliver twins in an OR in case something goes wrong), and after a grand total of 15 minutes of pushing both babies were born. Jameson Michael was 5lbs 8oz and Jaxon Gregory was 4lbs 11oz.

We were told that aside from a small issue with their blood sugar levels both were fine...but then the next day we were told that the blood sugar issue had resolved but they were having trouble maintaining a high enough body temp due to being so small and not being able to eat enough.

Long story short, I was discharged on Sunday, Jameson was discharged on Monday, and Jaxon is still in the hospital...he still isn't eating enough to maintain his body temp so they have him on a feeding tube. So right now we're adjusting to having a new baby at home while having another one in the hospital, and it's not easy. We can't go visit him at the same time b/c we can't bring Jameson w/us now that he's been discharged. So I go every day by myself for his 4:00 feeding and Jacob stays home w/Jameson. It literally breaks my heart that I can't be with him all the time...and I feel horribly guilty that I can only see him for an hour a day. But he has a 24 hr nursing staff caring for him and Jameson only has Jacob and I, so that's what I have to do most of the time. Not that I don't love caring for Jameson, he's been a really good baby so far...I just want BOTH my sons home so very desperately.

Hopefully Jaxon will get to come home soon...he has been gaining weight, as of today he's 4lbs 13oz so hopefully he will be big enough soon to use his calories to continue growing instead of solely to keep warm. The nurse told me in her opinion he could probably come home this weekend or Monday, but of course it's completely up to the doctor.

So that's why I've been silent lately...I can't even think about it without crying so I'm really not up for talking. Thank you for all the phone calls, texts, facebook comments, etc. We're holding off on posting a lot of pics until both babies are home...but here are a few we took in the hospital. :-)

So...I promise we will post a bunch once everyone's home safe and sound. In the meantime, thanks again for all your concern, it does mean a LOT to me and I'm sorry I haven't been better about expressing my gratitude. Love you all.

Probably the Last Ones...

Hi friends...

Here are the most recent belly pics (yes Cajsa my dear, these are mainly for you)...I had Jacob take a couple the other night and another one today. These will probably be the last ones I post since even though I'm no longer scheduled for an induction this week, I will have them for sure by the 31st (my doctor doesn't let his twin moms go past 38 weeks)...which is obviously later than I'd like but not too awful...and then I can post pics of them instead. :-)

So here you have it...the belly at 35 weeks...

Yeah, the grey striped shirt does a better job of making the belly look smaller than it actually is...don't know if you can tell much, but they've dropped a bit...which I hope means that maybe they're planning on coming soon.

I think this is my "I'm sooooooooooooo ready to be done" expression haha.

I was going to post pics of my swollen feet as well, but I don't want to scare anyone...seriously, I don't. Can't wait for them to be back to their normal size (so I can wear my shoes again). :-)

So yeah, there you have it. I'll keep you posted on if they decide to induce me on the 24th (I hope I hope I hope) and of course I'll let y'all know once the boys are here...and thanks to all for your encouraging comments and kind words. I know my posts have been super whiny lately. Hopefully there won't be any more of those from now on...

The Perinatologist is a Sadist

So...went to the hospital today for my follow up appt w/the perinatologist. Except it wasn't the same Dr. I saw last time, it was a new perinatologist who told me that despite what the other one said, she doesn't think I need to deliver at 36 weeks...she actually doesn't know when I should, but she'll recommend to my gyno to have me come back in 2 weeks and "we'll go from there."

Um...pardon me...we'll go from there????? You guys give me a date, snatch it away and don't even give me any idea of what the new date could be?? WTF.

So scratch the 17th, that ain't happening. Unless by the good graces of the universe I go into labor on my own. I could. I'm not counting on it.

I will do what's best for the babies but quite frankly I'm beyond exhausted, I'm in pain, my ankles and feet are constantly swollen no matter what I do, I'm moody (really Julie? We couldn't tell...), I'm reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally sick of going to the hospital almost daily to be monitored and I hate the fact that we planned everything around that date (which...yes, probably shouldn't have done that but I really didn't think they'd change it on me) and now I'm left with no game plan. I need a game plan. I don't do well with "let's wait and see." There was a light at the end of the tunnel and while it's still there, it got a lot smaller today. Lights at the end of tunnels aren't supposed to do that.

And I feel like a bad mom because I feel like I'm being selfish and should be happy that the babies will be cooking a little longer instead of being devastated that they won't be here as soon as I thought they would (and please...please...nobody tell me the longer they're in me the better and this will help them avoid the NICU, etc. I am very aware of these things, I am. Which is part of why I feel so guilty about being sad that they're pushing the induction back).

Stupid perinatologist...I don't want to come see you in 2 more weeks, I want to have my babies.

My next gyno appt is on Tuesday, I'm going to see what he thinks about letting me be induced at 37 weeks (which is full term). If he says no, then I will be a good pregnant lady and go back to see the sadist for her expert opinion on the matter. If he says yes, then SCREW THAT.

And now...since I feel really awful about the last few posts being so negative, here is something I found on the "WIN" section of failblog so I can end on a slightly amusing note. :-)



see more funny videos, and check out our Insanity Wolf lols!

Seclusion

Hello everyone.

There are missed calls that haven't been returned, voicemails I haven't even listened to, and emails I haven't answered. I'm still here, I'm still alive, I'm just not really fit for human contact at the present time. I sincerely apologize to all those I've neglected.

The past 2 weeks have been a roller coaster. While the complication of one of the babies being too small is fairly common for twins and somewhat minor, it has led to almost daily doctor's appointments and visits to the hospital for monitoring which have proven to be surprisingly draining for me. One day everything will be fine, the next I'll be laying on the hospital bed sipping Sprite and watching TV when several nurses burst into the room to have me change positions every which way while barking things like, "Page her doctor, prep the OR" at each other which leave me wondering what the hell is going on...until they've stared at the computer screen next to me for a few minutes and declared it was a false alarm.

So, between stuff like that and dragging my butt to work every day, I am exhausted and on edge and don't have any desire to talk to anyone until this is all over.

I'm not throwing myself a pity party, this is what I signed up for and I know that I'm lucky...as far as high risk pregnancies go, I've barely touched the tip of the iceburg when it comes to potential complications. I just wanted to provide an explanation for my lack of contact and also give a heads up cuz it's not going to change until after the boys are born and have been given a clean bill of health.

It will all happen soon enough though...9 days left (SINGLE DIGITS!) unless I go into labor before then (which is entirely possible since I'm now officially 3 cm dilated and contracting...not regularly, but that can always change). I'll try not to write any more less than happy posts...and I'll try to get one more belly pic up for y'all too (it's HUGE haha). In the meantime, please know that your friendship doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated. I'm just focusing all my energy on making it through the rest of the pregnancy. :-)

Happier News

Ok, so I'm fairly certain that my next several posts are going to be primarily baby-related...mainly because that's basically the focus of our entire life right now. But don't worry, I'm sure I'll get back to ranting about movies, politics and other stuff in no time. :-)

Anyhoo, I just wanted to post briefly with the latest update as far as the twins are concerned. I went to the hospital again yesterday for another non-stress test, and both babies are looking good. Baby B's heartrate was strong and fast, and it didn't dip down like it did last time. Baby A fell asleep so it took a bit longer for his heartrate to spike the way they wanted it to, but after they "buzzed" him (the buzzer is this little thing they put on my belly...it doesn't vibrate or anything, it just makes a buzzing noise and it woke him right up...pissed him off a little bit too, I'd say haha) he cooperated and I was able to go home after about an hour and a half of monitoring as opposed to the four hours I was there last time.

I went to my regular gyno appointment today...they checked me and I'm still dilated 2-3 cm...and they scheduled my induction for St. Patrick's day. :-) Not sure what time yet, and this isn't 100% set in stone...I have another appointment with the perinatologist next week and if he still thinks they need to come out at 36 weeks we'll keep that date. But if he feels it's ok they might try to push it back one more week, which would mean I'll be induced on the 24th (unless of course, I go into labor on my own in which case they told me at this point they won't try to stop it). Half of me says yes, keep them in there as long as possible...the other half of me says PLEASE GET THEM OUT! Haha but either way it goes down, we're excited that it's so close. My shower was last Saturday and we were very lucky to receive lots of very generous gifts...we're feeling confident that as far as "baby stuff" is concerned, we're pretty prepared.

So yeah, there you go. :-) Hopefully the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly and we don't have any more scares...and as usual, I'll keep you all posted.

Not a super happy update, but an update nonetheless...

I'm getting a wee bit tired of talking about this (it's only been a day but word travels fast), so I decided to blog about it so I don't have to keep telling the story.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for what I thought would be a routine visit...it had been 4 weeks since my last ultrasound so they did another one to check on the twins. Baby B has always measured smaller than Baby A (who is measuring right on track and has been the entire pregnancy), but apparently his rate of growth has slowed down quite a bit as of late and now he's measuring too small...as in, 25-30% smaller than he should be. The doctor very calmly told me that he was sending me to the hospital for a non-stress test (that's not out of the ordinary, most every pregnant woman gets to do those) and making me an appointment with the perinatologist to have him check on the situation. I did my best not to freak out as I waited for the appointments to be made, then I drove myself to the hospital (Jacob was working...I didn't want to ask him to leave as I wasn't sure exactly what was going on yet).

Once I got to the hospital, they took me back to labor & delivery where the nurse hooked me up to monitors for both the babies' heartbeats and another one for contractions. As I watched the printout from the machine, the nurse pointed out to me that I was having contractions...which took me by surprise, because I'd never felt anything that even closely resembled a contraction. But then a few minutes later the nurse became concerned b/c they were 4 minutes apart and seemed to be increasing in strength. Weird, right? She brought me some water and OJ in case they were being caused by dehydration. That didn't seem to change anything, and the contractions actually got strong enough that I was able to feel and start to become fairly uncomfortable by them. She then called my doctor, who had her give me a shot of something or other...and that stopped the contractions, thank goodness. Then she gave me a fetal fibronectin test, which (for those of you who don't know) was basically to determine whether or not I was in ACTUAL labor. She also checked my cervix, turns out I'm dilated to just over a 2...which isn't too big of a deal, a lot of women will dilate a little bit and walk around that way for weeks before they go into actual labor. But it was still pretty surprising to me.

Fortunately, the FFN test came back negative, but they were concerned because Baby B's heart rate wasn't being QUITE as consistent as they would have liked...it was dipping a little low from time to time. So they sent me to radiology for another ultrasound to check the fluid around the babies. Baby A has a good amount of fluid, of course, and while Baby B has what's considered to be a "normal" amount of fluid, he's on the low end of normal which is also cause for concern.

Anyway, after that I went back to L&D where they called my doctor again, and he said I was free to leave but to be sure to not miss my appointment w/the perinatologist (who is only in the hospital on Wednesdays, so I didn't see him yesterday). All in all I was in the hospital for 4 hours...FUN.

I went to work, but needless to say I was kind of a wreck so my boss was nice enough to let me go home...which was better than being at work, but still not awesome because it was a very worrisome day and I was going to be upset no matter where I was. I must say, if I'm this worried about my kids before they're even born, I can't imagine what the worry will be like once they're actually here. I might be kinda screwed.

Anyhoo, fast forward to today...after a night of basically no sleep, I headed over to the hospital for my appointment with the perinatologist. Jacob was able to join me this time, which was nice. Once they called us back, the ultrasound tech gave me the most detailed ultrasound I've had to date...she measured practically EVERYTHING on the babies (that's not a complaint), and then the doctor came in and measured the few things she hadn't. He didn't seem overly alarmed, but was very adamant that I be on alert for any decrease in activity (done and done), and now I get to go to the hospital a few times a week for more non-stress tests, I'm to see my gyno every week (which they wanted me to do anyway), and then see the perinatologist again in 2 weeks. He also said the boys will need to be delivered no later than 36 weeks (I'll hit the 36 week mark 3 weeks from tomorrow, in case anyone was wondering), unless they find something else that gives them cause for alarm, in which case they'll probably deliver the boys even earlier.

Soooooo...that is the most current update I have. I'm feeling slightly less panicked, but it's still not a happy situation, obviously. I'm super grateful that they're monitoring me so closely (although I have a feeling I'm going to be REALLY sick of the hospital by the time this is all said and done), and my brain tells me everything is going to work out fine. Once I can convince my heart of that, we'll be good to go. I know it sounds cliche, but HONESTLY, all I want is for both of my boys to be healthy and happy.

I'll keep you all posted.

A Rant...by Julie

So...it's surely just the pregnancy hormones (gotta play that card while I still have it...only 7 weeks left!!!), but I have been feeling a little down in the dumps lately about the world. The whole world. Ok, not really (uh, can we say drama queen?? Sheesh.). But I feel like a lot of people are being extra stupid lately.

FOR EXAMPLE....

Here are some things I personally feel no one should ever say to a pregnant person:
#1-"You're waddling!" Yes, thank you for emphasizing that the way I walk rather closely resembles that of a penguin. I really needed you to point that out, because I wasn't sure anyone else was noticing it as much as I am.

#2-"Your belly is REALLY sticking out now!" Well, believe it or not, other than what I can see in the mirror, the fact that I can no longer put on pants without faceplanting, bending over to pick things up makes me want to cry, tying shoelaces is next to impossible, getting off the couch requires a rather large amount of loud grunting and my back is constantly aching has made that very apparent to me. So in other words, yes, I've noticed.

#3-(While pointing at my formerly an "inny" and now very much an "outie" belly button) "Oh look, you're almost done!" DO I LOOK LIKE AN EFFING TURKEY TO YOU??????

Good times friends, good times.

Then we have work (WHY did I decide to work right up until I go into labor?? Oh yeah, that's right, money and health insurance. Silly me!). While there are plenty of jerks in this country who think it's a stellar idea to call and yell at people in an attempt to get their own way, I feel like my calls have been extra crazy/stupid lately. Usually this happens when it's a full moon (I'm actually not kidding about that one, I swear we get more psycho calls during a full moon than at any other time), but the next full moon isn't until February 18th so I feel like this is a bit premature. But here are some of the calls I've been dealing with in the past few days:
-Man calls in to try to cancel his mother's acct, is escalated to my team lead (each supervisor has a team lead to assist them as well as take escalated calls), who listens to his concerns and does her best to seriously respond to each one of them (she sits right next to me, so I can hear everything she's saying). Somehow he gets it into his head that she's laughing at him, and demands that she stop. She assures him she is in no way laughing at him. He continues to accuse her of giggling and then tells her he wants to speak to her manager, so the call comes to me. I take it, I listen, I respond almost exactly the same way she did (actually, I almost do laugh at one point b/c he keeps saying "this is riddikulus" and I have to resist the urge to ask him if he needs to banish any Boggarts...), and he tells me how nice is it to be taken seriously and not laughed at.

-Man calls in, wants to cancel prior to the end of his contract, is told the penalty for doing so (which is a pretty hefty monetary sum), doesn't like it...so he hangs up. Then he has his DAD call in to talk to us. Mind you, I have access to his DOB and this guy is 35 years old. Apparently you're never too old to have Daddy try to help get you out of the things you don't want to take responsibility for. Dad wants to speak to a manager, and I once again get the call. Dad proceeds to tell me that even though his son admits to not reading the contract before or after signing it, we need to cancel the acct w/out penalty because "it's just not fair." And that's his ONLY reason. Please sir, take that to a court of law and see what the judge tells you.

And, last but not least, my "favorite" call of the week...
-Lady calls in, gets mad at the agent she's speaking to, asks to speak to a manager. I get the call. Somehow before she's transferred to me, something gets lost in translation so she thinks she's going to be speaking to a different manager whose name sounds kind of similar to mine. Because she is speaking to me and not the other person, she becomes convinced that the other person DOESN'T EXIST. I then spend a good portion of the call assuring her that the other person does indeed exist as I do work with him on a regular basis, he is just out of the office today. She is no longer interested in talking about the original issue she called to discuss, she just wants to focus on the fact that we claim to be working with someone she thinks isn't real.

See what I mean? Crazies, all of them.

And then...we have ME. I think I am annoying myself more than any of this other stuff annoys me. I am so moody and emotional (I'll cry at just about anything nowadays) and despite my best efforts I usually fail when it comes to remaining in control of what I say. For example, tonight at work an agent from another department came and lectured one of my agents on one of our policies (which he was TOTALLY wrong about, may I add). He was super rude about it, and when my agent tried to say something the other guy interrupted him and said "I'm not done" and then continued w/his lecture. I was LIVID and told the other guy to get back to his own department and if he has a complaint about something in our department he needs to follow the proper chain of command to report it because he's not a manager and has no right to talk to my agent that way. Then a couple hrs later that same agent (my agent, not the guy from another dept) asked me a question about an account and when I was answering he interrupted me to point something out and what did I do? Without even thinking I said, "I know that, but you need to let me finish" and continued w/my answer. So yeah, he interrupted me but I didn't have to be all bitchy about it! GEEZ. I did apologize to him, but then I was all annoyed with myself for doing the exact same thing I'd been so pissed at the other guy for doing earlier. I mean, talk about hypocritical.

Oy. Rant over.

To conclude on a happy note that has absolutely nothing to do with any of this, I would like to say that I found enough energy to cook chicken enchiladas today and they were really, really, delicious...if I do say so myself. They were so tasty I think Jacob probably ate the rest of them so it's a good thing I managed to scarf down a couple before coming to work. :-)

The end.

Dear Fox News...

...Iraq called, they would like their place on the map back.



Oh, how I love failblog. :-)

The Camera Adds 10 Pounds, Right???

Well kids, as much as I enjoy writing about exorcism and Satanic cults I decided I should post an update about how things are going in pregnancy land (this is for you, Cajsa my dear). I was looking at the other belly pics we've taken and can't believe how big I thought I was because the belly in those pics ain't got nothin' on this beauty. This is probably the ugliest pic of me so far but Jacob is sleeping and I had to use the timer on my camera and I'm too tired to find way to angle it so that I'd look decent. Plus I just really, really don't look awesome these days. Anyway, here you go...here's the belly at almost 30 weeks:


Um, yes, I am gigantic and I'm starting to feel less like a cow and more like a whale...a whale that waddles haha. Surprisingly, I've only gained about 21 pounds so far...and from what I can tell, most of it's belly...a bit in my face and neck, but mostly it's all in my tummy region. At my last appointment my belly was measuring the same size as a woman carrying 1 baby at 34 weeks, and I'm sure it's bigger now.

The further along I get the more amazed I am that women manage to do this more than once (our plan is to not get pregnant again...honestly we can't afford another round of in vitro and we're perfectly happy with 2 kids). I am exhausted because sleeping is a joke and there are a lot of aches and pains I didn't anticipate...my back is killing me (ironically, only when I sit down, if I'm standing it doesn't hurt) and my thigh muscles are really, really sore. And don't even get me started about how much it hurts when my son decides to nestle himself up inside my ribcage. ;-) Everyone tells me it's worse for me because I'm carrying 2 babies so I'm already bigger than some women ever get, and I won't lie, it is a challenge. I can't imagine doing this multiple times and think it would be so hard to be pregnant and have your other kids to take care of, I'm so grateful that I can sit and put my feet up when I need to and not have to worry about anything. So kudos to you, non-first time moms of the world! You have my uber-respect.

BUT...despite all my whining and the discomfort I feel (I promised myself I wouldn't complain because I would be so grateful just to be pregnant...I guess I lied...), I'm still so, so thrilled to be pregnant (and I will be so, so thrilled when it's over!). The boys are doing great--at my last appointment they were both measuring right on track and weigh just shy of 3lbs (baby B, the one who enjoys the comforts of my ribcage, weighs about 2 ounces less than baby A). Their heart rates are fast and strong every time I get to hear them, and they are really active, which is actually something I do NOT find annoying. I find it rather comforting when they kick me because it lets me know they're alive and well. I passed my glucose test (which means I managed not to get gestational diabetes, for those of you unfamiliar with this stuff) and in a couple weeks I'll start going to the hospital for non-stress tests. HOPEFULLY the babies will be here in just about 8 weeks. :-) Crazy fun, right?

So anyway, that's all I can think of as far as updates are concerned. I'll post more as things continue to progress, and next time I'll try to take a belly pic of myself that isn't hideous hehe.

Ok, I Feel Better Now...

Yesterday Jacob and I went to see this movie...


...which I'm happy to report did NOT totally suck (yay!!). So if you're in the market for a good exorcism movie and you're just as depressed as I was that The Last Exorcism was so awful, you should check this one out. It's definitely not pee your pants scary...in fact, it's not really that scary at all, but it's well done and it will remind you how superb an actor Anthony Hopkins is. One warning for you, it is pretty heavy on the Catholicism (I mean, it's set in Rome for crying out loud). Jacob was not aware of this and wasn't entirely pleased with the intense Catholic dogma. But again, overall it's a good flick, and worth your time.

So I'm definitely feeling better, I have 3 decent exorcism movies I can enjoy. Now if I can just find a horror movie that will scare me half to death... ;-)

The Last (Worst) Exorcism (Movie...ever)

So this past weekend I was in the mood to watch a horror movie...you know how I am, I love 'em. The Last Exorcism had just arrived in the mail (yay Netflix!) so I decided to watch it. I didn't set my expectations very high...in fact, they were actually pretty low. It didn't do well in theaters and the reviews on imdb weren't exactly flattering. But I figured it would probably be slightly entertaining...I liked both The Exorcist and The Exorcism of Emily Rose so I figured I'd probably get a kick out of this one too. Yeah, I was wrong.

***HUGE, MASSIVE, RIDICULOUS SPOILER ALERT***

The movie presents itself as a documentary, and begins with the introduction of Reverend Cotton Marcus...who is a man pretending to believe in God when he has in actuality lost his faith. He jokes about how the members of his congregation will basically believe that anything he says is the word of God, even if he's preaching his grandma's banana bread recipe (which he then does...and indeed his congregation cries "Hallelujah" and "Praise Jesus"). Eventually the subject of exorcism is brought up, and to no one's surprise the good Reverend doesn't believe in that either, despite having successfully "exorcised" several people and taking the money of their grateful family members as payment for his demon-banishing services. So the dude's basically a big douchebag...a douchebag who is apparently ready to reveal the hypocrisy behind what he does for a living (think Marjoe, if you've ever heard of it...and if not, I'd recommend it).

Next we learn that the Reverend has received a letter from a father of a young teenage girl supposedly possessed by a demon begging him to come cast it out of her. What's a good Reverend to do, right? Why, head down to the little town outside of New Orleans to get rid of the pesky demon and catch the whole thing on film, that's what. The father and his son (the mother passed away a few years prior) aren't too thrilled about the camera at first, but good ole' Reverend Marcus talks them into letting the camera roll so we can all enjoy the spectacle.

Then we meet Nell, a sweet, innocent looking girl who just happens to have no memory of why she wakes up in the morning covered in blood and finds that her father's livestock has been slaughtered during the night, which is apparently an obvious sign of a demon possession (why the hell would a demon be so interested in killing a cow anyway? Doesn't it have better things to do with its time? Like try to bring about the apocalypse or something? I don't understand how killing a cow is going to accomplish that...). Reverend Marcus declares she is indeed possessed by the demon Abalam who has violated her innocence...of course he must perform an exorcism immediately because, naturally, the only way to save Nell's soul if the demon isn't exorcised is to kill her.

Nell and her family are then instructed to leave the room so Reverend Marcus can "prepare" for the exorcism. Preparations include hiding speakers to better amplify the recording of demon-like growls, putting on special rings which actually emit small electric charges to deliver just enough of a shock when the Reverend touches Nell to make it look like the demon is really fighting hard to stay in his human host's body, oh and then of course there's the smoking crucifix, which is how you know when the demon has been cast out by the power of Christ. The family re-enters Nell's bedroom and the "exorcism" commences. And what do you know, it's a rousing success! Bye bye Abalam, sucka! Dad's happy, Nell's brother is happy (which is odd, because he totally figures out that Reverend Marcus is a complete phony prior to the exorcism taking place), and of course Nell is elated to be rid of that pesky demon. Dad gives Reverend Marcus a big wad of cash and off he goes into the sunset a hero.

But wait...uh oh, that night at the Reverend's hotel who should show up but Nell, and she's not herself. Looks like Abalam didn't actually leave, and the Reverend is out of tricks, so it's off to the hospital, where she is evaluated and...once Abalam backs off for a minute, it's concluded she's fine and she's discharged. Obviously Dad is furious and demands another exorcism, which Reverend Marcus refuses to do, stating Nell is obviously cuckoo and needs to see a psychiatrist. But Dad is a man of faith, not medicine, and no head doctor is going to help his little girl. At this point Nell has gone all possessed again and has slashed her brother in the face with a knife, so Dad has to take him to the hospital (after he chains Nell to her bed, of course...but wouldn't you know, she still manages to get out, steal the camera while everyone's sleeping and use it to bludgeon the family cat to death). Reverend Marcus takes this opportunity to meet with the local pastor to beseech his help in convincing Dad to take Nell to see a psychiatrist. The pastor states there was a big squabble between him and Dad a couple years back, but if Reverend Marcus can get Dad to agree to see him, he'll come talk to him...he actually has a very good psychiatrist friend he can refer them to, in fact. A grateful Reverend Marcus heads back to the house, where Nell is still being all possessed and crazy. Oh and then guess what? The hospital calls and it turns out Nell is pregnant! Once Dad gets home and hears that, he grabs a shotgun. Turns out that demon really did violate his little girl...and since Reverend Marcus told him the only option besides exorcism is death, naturally he must do what any loving father would do to save his child's soul...blast her brains out. Awesome.

It then becomes apparent to Reverend Marcus that he's completely lost control of the situation...and in desperation to prevent Dad from committing murder he agrees to perform another exorcism...apparently it's gonna be a real one this time. Dad agrees to set aside the shotgun for a few minutes, and into the barn they go to once more attempt to send the demon back to hell.

The exorcism begins...and at first there's little hope that it will work. Nell, who is not normally a contortionist, is bending herself into all sorts of uncomfortable looking positions, breaking her own fingers, and carrying on in a way that most demons would...until she slips up and calls a naughty sex act by the wrong name. Wait a minute, demons are evil and they certainly know what all the immoral sex acts of the world are called. Nell, are you really possessed or are you just ashamed that you acted like a whore and got yourself knocked up? It is soon concluded by all that there is no demon, Nell is just acting out due to extreme guilt (some people cry, some people hang their head in shame...others pretend to be possessed by demons)...and reveals that a boy who works at the diner down the road seduced her and she succumbed to temptation and is now carrying his love child. After this startling confession (Dad actually looks like he'd rather it were a demon), it's agreed that the local pastor can come counsel the family on how to seek psychological help and...once again...off Reverend Marcus rides into the sunset in all his heroic glory.

But wait...the twist!!! Out of curiosity I suppose, Cotton and crew decide to stop by the diner to meet Nell's forbidden lover. Hmmmm, that's odd...this young man is gay and couldn't possibly be Nell's baby daddy. Something is wrong...still. Better go back and get things sorted out...AGAIN.

They arrive at the house and all is dark...upon entering Nell's room, they see that someone has been having way too much fun with a red sharpie and Satanic symbols, because they are all over the place in there. Oh dear, is that a scream in the distance? Well, we'd better head into the scary woods to see what's going on (the camera man doesn't want to because earlier when Nell was all possessed (but not really...or was she?) she colored a picture of all of them dying, but foreshadowing isn't applicable in real life, right? Onward!). They reach a clearing and there's poor Nell on a sacrificial altar getting what one can only assume is a Satanic abortion. Dad is blindfolded and tied to some sort of large rock, and there's the local pastor in a blood red cloak and his minions chanting in some weird language while Nell screams in pain. The "baby" is delivered and cast into the bonfire (because what Satanic ritual would be complete without a bonfire?), which immediately leaps like, 10 stories into the air and looks rather malevolent.

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Oh shit.

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Our hero once more decides he must save the day so he pulls out his smoking crucifix (which is not currently smoking as he has not had adequate time to prepare it to do so) and heads toward the fire, intent on stopping whatever ungodly force has been unleashed. Apparently Cotton has changed his mind and concluded that there really is a God and He's gonna get over the fact that the Reverend stopped believing in Him and lend a hand here. Or not, we never find out. The documentary producer runs away (to do what, I'm not sure...she's not running back the way they came) and is met with an axe to the face...we must assume that killed her, I don't know anyone who could survive that. The cameraman, who seems to be the only person who has any sense left at all, proceeds to run back towards the house with (I'm sure) the intent of jumping in the car and getting the hell out of there, but unfortunately he's not fast enough and Nell's brother, who somehow managed to check himself out of the hospital and get all the way back to the house despite his gaping face wound and lack of a vehicle (he even had time to spare and was able to change into his Sunday best...gotta look good for Satanic rituals, you see), intercepts him and decapitates him with a little scythe. Obviously that was fatal, although apparently he had enough strength in him to reach up and turn off the camera so we will never know what happened (ok not really, but the impact of the fall didn't seem nearly hard enough to break the camera). The end.

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Whaaaaaaaat was that?

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Here's the thing with horror movies...ambiguous endings (some argue that this ending is not...which is bogus) are definitely appropriate (although can sometimes be very cliche)...but this one did not work for 2 reasons: first, there were too many unanswered questions and contradictions. We assume Nell's dad was NOT in on it, since he had to be tied up at the end (or maybe he was a willing participant and that was his part of the ritual..?). We know Nell's brother WAS in on it, as was the pastor and apparently most of the town. But was Nell in on it? There's the token question. If she was in on it, why would she act possessed and bring all that attention to herself and risk someone coming, discovering their secret and possibly messing it up? If she was not in on it, why would she lie about getting knocked up by the gay kid...and who raped her? The devil (Rosemary's Baby, anyone?)? Hmmm. Maybe the pastor...but in that case her baby would be human (definitely an acceptable sacrifice in Satanic rituals) and not a demon and wouldn't cause her to act possessed. Actually, carrying Satan's baby probably wouldn't cause her to act possessed either (yes, that's another Rosemary's Baby reference). Or was she actually possessed and just happened to be impregnated as well (geez, there's a run of bad luck for you)? Was she just schizophrenic? No clue. In fact, Daniel Stamm, the director, doesn't even know. He fully admits that they did their best to leave the ending as open as possible and that he doesn't ever want to solve the ambiguity.

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So...we have a director who doesn't know what the hell is actually going on in his own film...which brings about reason #2 why this movie's ending doesn't work. Again, ambiguity has its place...it's not a horror film, but let's talk Inception. The ambiguous ending TOTALLY worked for that movie because the build-up of events led right to it. The idea was planted in the viewer's head very early on in the movie that it was all too easy to become lost in the dream sequence and not realize you're actually living a dream. So was Leo's character still in a dream at the end? Maybe, and that's ok. Maybe not, which is also ok...either works, and it's fun to wonder. However, in The Last Exorcism there is basically no build-up to the movie's ending. The movie is going along, doing its thing, and then all the sudden it does a complete 180 and for the last 5 minutes it turns into something completely different than the entire rest of the movie. The focus shifts from "Is Nell really possessed or is it her psyche" to "Wait, the whole town is part of a Satanic cult and they're doing what??" The entire tone of the film changes and you as the viewer are left completely unprepared and with almost no reference as to what anything you just watched has to do with what's currently happening. Apparently the director thought it would be scary because it's unexplained...which it's not, it's just annoying.

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So my exorcism film turned out not to be an exorcism film...I'm actually not sure what it was, other than lame. The search for a decent horror film continues...

Cutest thing EVER

I am such a sucker for this stuff...but you have to admit, this is SUPER cute. And it's only 30 seconds long, so you don't even have to commit a lot of time to watching it. So you should watch it. The end.

New Year, New Experiences

Hey all,

So...2011. Crazy. It's going to be an interesting year for us, to say the least. Hopefully a good one.

2010 definitely had its ups and downs...not sure which outweighed the other, getting pregnant was obviously a HUGE event because not only did it mean we'd be adding to our little family, it meant the end of a miserable 4 year ordeal with infertility. So that was definitely a huge victory which kept me from having a mental breakdown...hooray for my sanity remaining intact (contrary to the name of my blog...er, yeah). But then we had to deal with Jacob's flight internship being shut down and the fallout from that...which I now realize I haven't really discussed at all here. It's a long story and I don't really feel the need to go into it but trust me, it wasn't pretty. One thing I WILL say is that it's incredibly disheartening when you see how some people are so willing to toss their intergrity to the side without a second thought about how it will affect someone else just because it's convenient for them. But whatever, onward and upward.

Anyway, 2010 ended with things looking very uncertain for us...while I am still working at the same place (apparently there are always going to be people who want to yell at me haha), Jacob has recently had to quit his job at the small magazine where he's been working since coming home from the flight internship due to his boss freaking out and basically making it impossible for Jacob to continue. You can't work for someone who constantly changes his mind about how he wants things done without telling you (which then leads to all sorts of ridiculous accusations), goes back on his word, and takes out all his personal problems on you. It wasn't really a good source of income anyway...Jacob had hoped the magazine, which had previously been growing, would evolve into something a bit more stable for us, but no such luck. He's been applying for jobs for the past few weeks now but hasn't had much luck...the end of the year is a terrible time to try to find work.

HOWEVER...today he was offered a position writing/designing curriculum for UVU's aviation department. It's only part time, but it pays pretty darn well and would be something that Jacob enjoys...plus it will look great on his resume. When Jacob applied for the position and told me about it, I knew he'd get it...he couldn't be more qualified. Not only does he have his commercial pilot's license, but he has a master's degree in English. They told him he was their first choice, which isn't surprising. He's still waiting to hear from one other job he interviewed for in Salt Lake City, which is full time and pays about the same...I personally want him to take the UVU job. Even though it's only part time, I think he'll enjoy it more and his schedule would allow me to continue working without us having to worry about childcare once the twins are born. Either way, things are looking much better for us on the job front and we're pretty damn excited about that. :-)

So yeah, here's to hoping 2011 is as awesome as I think it will be. I'm sure I'll be posting another belly picture soon...I feel beyond huge but people tell me they think I'm small considering the fact that there are 2 babies in there. I only have about 12 weeks left, it's coming fast. So yeah, good times...I feel pretty good, the babies seem to be rather healthy (they are soooooo active! They're using my bladder as a trampoline as I write this haha...), so I can't complain.

Anyway, I'll keep you guys posted. :-)