The Insanity That is Me: October 2010

So, now that the cat's out of the bag about the in vitro working, I thought I'd write a little somethin somethin about what the procedure is actually like. The kids can read it when they're older and be grateful to Mom for what she had to go through to bring them into existence haha.

I honestly had no idea how much STUFF goes into the whole process. The clinic we went through (love, love LOVE them...sooooo grateful to the person who referred me there!) had a class that Jacob and I took prior to actually starting anything to give us an idea of what we were signing up for, but there's only so much they can say to prepare you, if you know what I mean. The process sounds a wee bit different on paper.

Anyway, it started with a month of birth control pills...cuz you have to let the ovaries rest before running a marathon, was how they explained it. No biggie there. Then came the daily shots of a drug to prevent premature ovulation...that went on for a few weeks before adding a bunch of other stuff to it. It was pretty crazy--they had a whole sheet to explain how to mix up all the different medications into one big shot. Let me tell you, by the time it was all over I was extremely tired of sticking myself. Yeah. So once I started giving myself the big shots, I would go in every other day to have my blood drawn and to have an ultrasound to see how many follicles my ovaries were producing. In a normal cycle, one ovary produces one follicle every month...they were hoping to get at least 7 or 8 from each of mine. Fun, right? Haha it actually wasn't too bad...I thought I would feel a lot worse than I actually did.

So yeah, once I had enough follicles they scheduled me for surgery to retrieve them a couple days later...I only had to take one more shot (praise all that is good for that!) and haven't had to stick myself since. Surgery itself was super easy for me, of course, since I was unconscious for it. I really don't remember too much about that day...I remember there being pain, and then the nurse put something warm and fuzzy in my IV and it went away. I remember getting home and making myself comfy on the couch and then I think at some point I told Jacob I required a roast beef sandwich so he went to Arby's. Yeah. Pretty sure I slept for the rest of the day...and the night.

Ok heads up...this next part may be TMI for some of you, so read on if you dare...

A few days later we had 8 fertilized embryos of high quality so it was time to put a couple of them back in. In all honesty I wish they'd have put me under for this part as well haha. My instructions were to show up at the clinic an hour before my scheduled procedure with a half-full bladder (which I learned is b/c that flattens the uterus, which is the ideal condition for it to be in when they put the embryos back in). Now, those of you who know me very well understand that I have a pretty freaking small bladder, so this part made me very nervous. Regardless, I did as I was told. Unfortunately for me, that day they were short-staffed and were running late. Very soon my half-full bladder became a full one. They finally took us back, gave me some valium and assured us that it wouldn't be long until it was time to go into the OR (yeah, they have their own OR...gotta do all this stuff in a sterile environment...it's pretty awesome). By the time it was our turn, I was pretty much ready to burst. But I figured it couldn't take more than a couple minutes, right?

Wrong.

All in all I don't think I was back there for more than about 20 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. First they had me lie down on the table, then they put the damn speculum in me. You men will NEVER understand what that feels like but any woman who's been to the gyno and had a yearly exam knows exactly how uncomfortable it is to have one of those in you. Seriously. Then add the fact that it was pushing up on my extremely full bladder and you'll understand the panic I felt. It took a couple minutes for them to finish prepping me...I'll spare you the details on that...and then the embryologist had to come in from the lab and ask me a bunch of questions to make sure I was really me so they could be sure they would be putting the correct embryos in (I'm very grateful for their thoroughness but at the time was not pleased with what I felt was an unnecessary identity check...haha). Once he was satisfied that I was who I said I was, he handed the embryos over to the doctor, who then had his assistant place the ultrasound thingie on my belly so he could make sure he put them in the right place.

Ok, so there I was...my bladder was full to the point of bursting, I had the speculum pushing up on it, and now I had the stupid ultrasound thing pushing down on it. I was so ready to cry...Jacob said the look on my face was one of intense focus and extreme terror. The doctor was chatting pleasantly as he did his thing and I could barely respond because the whole time I was telling myself "don't pee on the doctor, don't pee on the doctor!" Fortunately for everyone involved, I didn't. After the embryos were in and the doctor was kind of enough to take away anything pushing up or down on my bladder, I had to lay on the table for another 10 minutes. Which, at that point, seemed like nothing compared to what I had just been through. However, you can bet once they told me the time was up, I headed straight for the bathroom. I don't think I've ever been so grateful to go in my entire life, no exaggeration (and I'm pretty sure the nurses got a kick out of my extreme haste haha). Then the valium finally kicked in and I spent the rest of the day in a relaxed haze. Good times.

So there you have it...my in vitro story. Of course it was completely worth it...I'd have gone through a lot more if it meant being able to get pregnant (but am grateful I didn't have to). And really, I have no doubt that labor and delivery is probably going to make all this seem like cake. But I'm not going to worry about that until it gets here. :-)

Yesterday was a pretty cool day, because I got to do something that for a while, I never thought I'd get to do. There's been an envelope sitting in the bottom drawer of my dresser for almost 3 years now...see, the last time I was fortunate enough to get pregnant, Jacob and I thought the perfect way to tell our families was for him to give me a gift card to a maternity clothing store for Christmas. But then I lost the baby in November, so the gift card went into the drawer where I told myself it wouldn't stay for very long. As you all know, I was quite incorrect.

However, yesterday I finally allowed myself to open that drawer, take out the envelope, and open it (BIG SMILEY FACE). If anyone missed the facebook announcement, I am pregnant. The in vitro worked beautifully and we're expecting twins...I just started my second trimester (for those of you not familiar with pregnancy lingo, that's 14 weeks...3 months along) and I'm due April 14. It's taken a while to sink in, but now after a few trips to the doctor, 3 ultrasounds (one of the awesome things about being pregnant w/twins is that I get to have an ultrasound at every doctor's visit to check on their heartbeats), and my pants getting extremely uncomfortable, we've accepted that this blessing is actually real.

And yes, my pants getting too tight was the reason for me to finally open that envelope. My sister was kind enough to take me shopping so I can begin piecing together my pregnancy wardrobe. Thank goodness for maternity pants, I am so much more comfortable now.

Anyway, so that's our big news. And thanks to popular demand (ok, only one person demanded it...this is for you, Cajsa!), I'm posting my first (of many, I'm sure) pregnancy belly picture. I swear, I was NOT this fat yesterday. Jacob says it's because the babies are happy not to be squished any more thanks to my new pants and have spread out into the additional space. And yes, I should probably switch to maternity shirts too, but I'm wearing my regular ones as long as I can get away with it haha. :-) Anyway, here you go...enjoy!