Monday, July 5, 2010

A Bad Movie Sampler

So, my friend has recently started a blog critiquing the awful movies he watches (see Cinematic Casualty in my list of crazy bloggers...). I have been present for 3 out of the 4 he's reviewed thus far and have come to the realization that there really never will be a shortage of awful movies to write about. And every time you think you've found the worst movie ever, there will surely be another one that comes along to knock it out of first place. I'm grateful, because otherwise we'd never have things like Mystery Science Theater 3000 (which I enjoy tremendously) but I'm also horrified that people actually get funding and actors to make these pieces of junk.
Anyway, here's a taste of just a few that we've been watching lately (and if you haven't already, see the video I posted from Troll 2, which still ranks as #1 on my list of worst movies ever made)...
First we have the Wishmaster series (check out the Cinematic Casualty blog for a full review of I, III and IV...we're still working on finding II). If you ever have the opportunity to make a wish from a Djinn, be sure you have your attorney present to put it in writing, otherwise the result most likely will be the very loosest and most gruesome interpretation of what you actually requested. And you may be attacked by "scary" monsters not unlike this fella...

Uh, yeah. "RUN! IT'S A BUNCH OF BLOODY BONES THAT WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO OVERPOWER!" Horrifying.

Then we have The Curse of King Tut's Tomb." Unfortunately (cough cough), I wasn't able to see the end of this puppy due to having to work, but if I had to sum it up I'd say it's the worst Indiana Jones rip off I have ever seen. And the only one, really. But still, it was BAD.

And most recently..."WHAT ARE THOSE???" you're asking? Well, I will tell you. They're giant leeches, courtesy of the amazing studio that brought us Komodo vs. Cobra.


Tell me, if the Army was working with a bunch of scientists trying to make jumbo-corn in an effort to feed the world and decided to see if the same stuff that makes giant plants would work on animals, wouldn't it be more logical to try it on something more docile like, say, a bunny? Or a hamster? No. You'd be wrong. Apparently using a couple of highly venomous reptiles is a better idea. Geniuses.

......................

So there you have it. I will leave the actual reviewing to my friend, but if you're ever in the mood for some really horrible films, these definitely fit the bill. :-)

2 comments:

kajsia mccoy said...

those look like watching them will make my life complete.

Petey said...

Ah love, thanks for the plug. And for the sacrifice of viewing all these horrors with me. :) You are the best!

And these films are the worst. Honestly.