A Brief Update...

So...I have deliberately been avoiding the subject of fertility (or the lack thereof), because it's just been too painful to talk about lately. But I think I'm in a good spot today...

The visit with the infertility specialist wasn't as positive as I'd hoped. He listened to my story...and then told me my options. While he said he'd do whatever I wanted, he really emphasized In Vitro...he said he thought it was the way to go, which left me pretty stunned. I was not prepared to hear that the best way for us to have a family would involve a procedure that is not only WAY beyond our financial means (we just don't have $10K), but that's so very invasive as well. I honestly think I waslked out of his office in complete shock. I got home, still in shock, and told Jacob. Needless to say, the day was ruined. We went for a walk, we talked about taking out loans...we talked about if and when we could possibly get this going. It did not end well...and we were both more frustrated than we ever have been since we started this process.

I e-mailed my sister...who just happens to be a registered nurse...and told her what I'd been told. She wrote back and said no way...In Vitro is most definitely a last resort. She has some friends w/"issues" similar to my own, so she promised to talk to them and get back to me. This left me feeling slightly better but still pretty miserable.

I got the name of a doctor one of my sister's friends saw...but upon calling his office, found out he's not accepting new patients right now and there was no way I was getting into see him. Another brick wall thrown up in my face.

I waited a couple more days...still not knowing quite what to do, but I had decided In Vitro was not the road I wanted to take (much to Jacob's relief!). My sister and I went to lunch...talking to her made me feel MUCH better...she gave me the confidence to do what I need to. This is MY body, my health care, and I'm going to start calling the shots as to what is or is not done to me. I had already talked to the infertility specialist and told him we don't want to pursue In Vitro, and he immediately apologized if he'd made me feel any pressure to do so. That was comforting...so I told him I want to run some tests on both myself and Jacob to check the basics (you know, his sperm count/quality...and to see if I have any blocked tubes or something). He said that sounded good, and he could either set me up with his medical doctor friend (yeah, he's a doctor of SCIENCE, not medicine...he works with one of the leading infertility doctors who is based on California) or I could go through my own doctor.

That was the part that made me nervous. I love my doctor, I think he's awesome...but I was hesitant to see if they'd do it for me since they had already shipped me off. Yeah, that was silly of me...I called and told them what tests I wanted and they immediately sent the orders to the hospital. Sheesh, I wish I hadn't been so scared before. I just really did not know what I should do.

So Jacob is getting tested (haha, it sounds like he's a science experiment or something) on Friday, and as for me...I'll have to wait at least a couple weeks, just because the test I want can only be done in a very small window of time and I'm already too late in this cycle. Good times, huh?

Anyway, that's the update. We shall see...more to come...