However, there's one reality show that sucked me in more than the others...TLC's Sister Wives. I'm not sure exactly why it fascinated me so much; maybe it was because I was raised as a Mormon and polygamy is a big part of their history, maybe it was because this particular family lives pretty close to me (on one episode one of the wives went to her gyno b/c she was pregnant, and her gyno is totally part of the same practice mine is...I was like, "Hey, I go to that building for MY doctor appointments!"), most likely it's a combination of the two. Either way, I saw one episode and actually made sure I watched the rest of them (I almost never plan to watch anything...typically I watch TV because I have nothing else to do, not because "my show is on")...then the night of the season finale TLC had a marathon prior to the last episode and I honestly sat and watched for hours so I could see all the episodes in order (I'd missed the first few...and then of course I had to see the last one).My initial reaction was..."Damn, this is so wrong, those women are nuts!" Not to mention I think men who live a polygamous lifestyle are hypocrites (this guy, despite the fact that he seems like a pretty nice fellow, is no exception...he took his first wife to dinner for their anniversary and as she was trying to express her struggles w/jealousy due to him courting another woman who later became wife #4, he commented on how "vulgar" it would be if she were to be interested in another man...um, hello?). But still I continued to watch.
And the more I watched, the more I was forced to take the time to really ponder my philosophy on their lifestyle. I have always had a "live and let live" philosophy...basically, I don't care what people choose to do with their lives as long as it's not hurting anybody else...in my mind, there are very few exceptions to this philosophy. However, polygamy has always been one of those exceptions to me...I've always pictured it as being extremely degrading to those who I assumed were unfortunate brainwashed women, and I am not ok with perverts like Warren Jeffs marrying middle-aged men to underage teenage girls...
...but in this case, I didn't see any evidence of their lifestyle having a negative effect on anyone, and here's why:
-They're not civilly married so they're not breaking the law, all the wives were of legal age when they got married, and all chose it willingly (hell, one of them was raised as a mainstream Mormon and left her family and friends behind because she believes so strongly in their lifestyle) and continue to choose to remain in that lifestyle.
-It's come up a couple times at work and some of my co-workers have expressed their concern that the show will further the assumption that Mormons are still practicing polygamy, but in the very first episode the husband was very sure to specify that they are NOT mainstream Mormons and aren't really even a facet of that religion. Honestly, Mormons should probably be more worried about Big Love when it comes to that misconception.
-Some argue that being raised in a polygamous home has a negative effect on the kids, but it doesn't appear to. One of their daughters even expressed how she has no intention of being in a polygamous relationship when she gets married, and her parents are all supportive of that. These kids are not being told that they will be forced to live that lifestyle in their marriages if they don't want to...it doesn't even appear that they're expected to be in polygamous relationships at all.
Of course a reality TV show doesn't show you EVERYTHING that goes on and maybe my conclusions are way off base...but from what I see, their lifestyle works for them and they're happy. They don't try to shove it in anyone's face and they don't appear to even be promoting it...they seem to have a very firm grasp on the fact that their lifestyle is not appealing to most people. So I asked myself how I can argue for something like gay marriage on the grounds that the gay lifestyle is not hurting anyone and then turn around and say these polygamists shouldn't be allowed to live how they choose when they're not hurting anyone either? I really don't want to be a hypocrite.
So ultimately, my conclusion is that while I genuinely do not understand why anyone would choose to live that way (even the men...when my hubby jokes about becoming a polygamist I remind him he has way too much estrogen to deal with already...yeah, I'm definitely a handful and I think most women are), this is the life these people picked...and in this particular case, that's fine with me.
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4 comments:
I have students from a few polygamist families. It is interesting to watch them interact. I can't make too many generalizations about them. They are all sweet kids. They do seem to be most comfortable interacting with their family members. In fact, I think a few of them were downright scared of me to begin with, but they've warmed up since then. :)
They are a nice group of kids. I don't think I have any of the kids from the show though, another co-worker of mine had watched it. I'm not sure which charter school they go to...
It is interesting to think about.
I agree with the Jiles. (How surprising! xD ) While polygamy wouldn't work for me, I think the legal way they have found to live that lifestyle is fine. Kudos on the non-hypocrisy. :)
P.S.
I miss you so freakin' muuuuuuuuuuuch!!!
while working at the theater saturday, a man and lady came up to get popcorn and she was wearing a black low cut v-neck. and across the boobs it said SISTER WIFE. i did a double take and thought, there is no other reason for her to wear that shirt unless she really is one. i thought it was brave and cool for her to be proud of it like that. must have been her night out with the communal husband.
I love it!!! I too am wrapped up in this show. I watched the marathon and I was hooked. I read an article on KSL that said the Utah DA was going to prosecute them and I thought the same point you brought up he is only legally married to one of them so its not bigamy right? Oh well totally addicted and I love reading your blog!
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