Uhhh...what are you doing??

Confession time...ok, it's not really a confession, it's more like "here's a random fact about Julie that you probably didn't know, and really don't NEED to know...at all:" I am extremely self-conscious when using the restroom (yup, this story is off to a great start!). Example: some married couples can use the bathroom right in front of each other; I've been married 7 years and I still lock the door and turn on the fan. Even for #1. Seriously. I'll even shut the door when I'm home alone, lest the cats wander in and see me.

And it's even worse when I'm at work (especially now that I'm expecting, simply because the frequency has increased haha). As you all know, I work in a call center...which equals one big building full of lots of people. Naturally, the bathrooms there accomodate more than one individual. If the bathroom is completely vacant when I need to use it, of course I'm fine. But if other people happen to be there...bad times for me. Sometimes if I go in and there are people already there, I will turn around and come back later. If someone comes in while I'm already in there, I literally freeze. And I wait until they have done their thing, washed their hands (would you believe that some people actually don't wash their hands??? It's disgusting!!), and walked completely out the door before resuming.

So on Friday I was in there...had just sat down when the bathroom door opened and someone walked in. So I waited...whoever it was mozied on into a stall, got the toilet seat protector paper thingie situated, etc...and I thought she'd do her thing and get going so I could do mine. But instead of doing what people normally do in the restroom, she didn't do anything. "Uh oh..." I figured I had another shy restroom user on my hands. Which can be really bad, naturally, because someone has to go...cuz if we're both too mortified...well, it's a problem. I decided to wait it out. So wait I did.

And then, after a few seconds, what did I hear? Clicking...the clicking of little buttons. Wait, is that your phone? Are you TEXTING??? Who TEXTS in the bathroom???? Last I checked, bathrooms are not the ideal location for using your cell phone (unless you're a real estate agent...man, those guys will talk on their phones no matter where they are!!). Annoyed, I continued to wait. And she continued to text. I'm telling you, it must have been a super important conversation b/c it went on for a while. So long, in fact, that I was forced to break my bathroom policy because honestly, I needed to get back to work...people were going to start wondering where I'd gone and I really wasn't feeling up to explaining it.

SO...I did what I had to do. And wouldn't you know, once I'd taken that leap of faith apparently her really important conversation was over and she proceded to do what I assume she came in there to do in the first place.

Now, the only thing worse than someone else hearing you do your business is someone else hearing you do your business and then seeing you as you wash your hands. I don't want anyone to KNOW what I specifically sound like when I do that (irrational fear, anyone???). Plus I really hate having to talk to people in the bathroom. In my opinion, it's one of the worst places to have a conversation. For some reason other people do not feel that way...there have been several times when people have walked in while I'm washing my hands and decided to chitchat. Some have even talked to me while doing their thing! Holy awkward, Batman! So naturally, when I realized this girl was probably going to see me washing my hands and, depending on who it was, potentially strike up a conversation with me, panic set in.

FORTUNATELY FOR ME, she must have had a really complicated belt...or was just as panicked as I was (maybe she was humiliated that someone heard her texting in the bathroom...although if that was going to be a concern, she probably wouldn't have done it in the first place)...either way, I managed to wash my hands and get out of there before she emerged from the stall.

*Huge sigh of relief*

Moral of the story? Please do not text while in the bathroom. It's creepy and weird, and you never know if there's someone like me 2 stalls over having a panic attack. Thank you.