Happy Happy Turkey Day

Ah, Thanksgiving...the day of over-indulegent eating just because some Puritans landed near Plymouth Rock and shared a meal with the Natives. Good times.

I've always been a fan of Thanksgiving, myself. In my family, we'd have the traditional turkey meal...then my Dad would spend the rest of the afternoon watching football while he carved the turkey we didn't eat and us kids would put up our Christmas decorations. Thanksgiving (despite what Wal-Mart and the mall had to say about it...) was always the starting point for "magical" Christmas season.

This year, however, feels different. I promised myself it wouldn't, because I would decide to be happy...but despite my best efforts to have a positive attitude, I still woke up at 5:30 with pain in my heart and an empty feeling in my chest. Yeah. 1 year ago today was the day I discovered that I had lost our baby. And it's silly, because why should today feel any different from any other day of the year? I don't think it should. And yet, for some incredibly stupid reason, I feel like I just found out again; I am reminded with perfect clarity how it felt to lose that child. It really hurts.

So you know me and my theraputic writing...I thought I'd just get it out there, perhaps to talk about it a little will aleviate the pain a bit. Cuz this really, really sucks. I think part of the problem is that when it happened, I consoled myself by saying that I'd definitely be pregnant again in a year's time, so even though this year would be awful, next year would be better. And now here I am, a year later and still nothing.

I will say this: despite the anguish of that experience, I am grateful for the knowledge that it is at least physically possible for me to get pregnant...because right now, that's all I have to go on.

Anyway, thanks as always for listening. I do sincerely hope that everyone has a great Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all you guys' friendship and love...and your willingness to listen. :-)

Now, as a completely random ending to this post and getting back to that whole positive attitude/I'm choosing to be happy thing, I'd like to quote one of my favorite movies (Addam's Family Values--from Gary's Thanksgiving Play the kids put on at summer camp)...as the kinds are dancing around dressed as turkeys, they sing...

"Eat us! Hey, it's Thanksgiving Day
Eat us! We make a nice buffet
We lost the race with farmer Ed
Eat us 'cuz we're good and dead
White man or red man
From East, North or South
Chop off our legs
..and put 'em in your mouth

Eat me! Sauteed or barbequed
Eat me! We once were pets but now we're food
We won't stay fresh for very long
So eat us before we finish this song
Eat us before we finish this song!"

Hehehe Kajsia, that was for you baby.