Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Perinatologist is a Sadist

So...went to the hospital today for my follow up appt w/the perinatologist. Except it wasn't the same Dr. I saw last time, it was a new perinatologist who told me that despite what the other one said, she doesn't think I need to deliver at 36 weeks...she actually doesn't know when I should, but she'll recommend to my gyno to have me come back in 2 weeks and "we'll go from there."

Um...pardon me...we'll go from there????? You guys give me a date, snatch it away and don't even give me any idea of what the new date could be?? WTF.

So scratch the 17th, that ain't happening. Unless by the good graces of the universe I go into labor on my own. I could. I'm not counting on it.

I will do what's best for the babies but quite frankly I'm beyond exhausted, I'm in pain, my ankles and feet are constantly swollen no matter what I do, I'm moody (really Julie? We couldn't tell...), I'm reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally sick of going to the hospital almost daily to be monitored and I hate the fact that we planned everything around that date (which...yes, probably shouldn't have done that but I really didn't think they'd change it on me) and now I'm left with no game plan. I need a game plan. I don't do well with "let's wait and see." There was a light at the end of the tunnel and while it's still there, it got a lot smaller today. Lights at the end of tunnels aren't supposed to do that.

And I feel like a bad mom because I feel like I'm being selfish and should be happy that the babies will be cooking a little longer instead of being devastated that they won't be here as soon as I thought they would (and please...please...nobody tell me the longer they're in me the better and this will help them avoid the NICU, etc. I am very aware of these things, I am. Which is part of why I feel so guilty about being sad that they're pushing the induction back).

Stupid perinatologist...I don't want to come see you in 2 more weeks, I want to have my babies.

My next gyno appt is on Tuesday, I'm going to see what he thinks about letting me be induced at 37 weeks (which is full term). If he says no, then I will be a good pregnant lady and go back to see the sadist for her expert opinion on the matter. If he says yes, then SCREW THAT.

And now...since I feel really awful about the last few posts being so negative, here is something I found on the "WIN" section of failblog so I can end on a slightly amusing note. :-)


epic fail photos - WIN: Rock Paper Scissors, TL;DR Edition
see more funny videos, and check out our Insanity Wolf lols!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The title of this post made me chuckle...because I had a fairly good idea of why you would be thinking that.

Don't feel guilty....you ARE uncomfortable! Good grief....you have TWO babies in there...and they move!! I bet you can't WAIT to take a deep breath. :)

37 weeks seems extremely reasonable. I can't imagine why your gyno wouldn't conscent to that. I will cross my fingers...toes...and whatever else I can find that they let you be induced SOON. :)

Love you Sis....you are doing an amazing thing for these boys. I can't wait to kiss their little feet and tell them what incredible sacrifices their mommy made to get them here!

Cajsa said...

1. you are awesome.
2. in all these years I've worked with kids, I haven't met a mother who hasn't at some point been ready to throw out her kids with the recycling or sell them on e-bay. it doesn't make them bad mothers who don't love their kids. it makes them human.
3. I promise to also cross all my toes and fingers, but only if you promise to post one last preggo picture. I imagine you are gigantic and fabulous :)

wisp said...

Blck. It is annoying to have the date changed. Don't feel guilty. You aren't a bad mother. You're funny and adorable and ready to get to the cute babies part and be done with the uncomfortable, painful part. Sounds normal to me. Lol. *hugs*

*LyndiLou* said...

Of course you feel a little deflated. We all naturally love schedules, order and a way to plan. You can mourn that loss and still be a great Mom. :) And really...you never know what will happen with that date... lots of Mom's have their babies on the day they subconsciously choose. ;)

If there's anything I can do to help you feel better or be more comfortable, I would be happy to help. Love ya!