I don't want to elaborate

You know when you have one of those days where the world seems like such a dark place and you don't know whether to be just pissed as hell or simply cry yourself to sleep? Yes, I am having one of those days...one of those weeks, actually. And I don't really want to talk about it. Instead, here are the lyrics to a song which completely illustrates how I feel. Go Veronicas.

"Heavily Broken"

Every day I sit here waiting
Every day just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care
It's so unfair

Any day it'll all be over
Every day there's nothing new
And now I just try to find some hope
To try to hold onto
And it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again
It doesn't end

I'm heavily broken...

Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air
(screaming for air)
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care

I'm heavily broken...

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

I'm craving cookies

In case you were wondering...

Quizzes Girls Games

Thank you, Kajsia.

Jacob & Journalism...

Hi friends,

Perhaps some of you have noticed that I added a new link to my list of craaaaaaaazy bloggers called "Jacob is a journalist." Yes, I am the proud wife of the newest journalist for utahstories.com and I'm super excited about it. Thus far he's written articles on Prop 8, Gun paranoia, and the LifeFlight helicopter crew for Utah. So, if you want to check out his articles from time to time (typically he has 1 published a week), we would love that (especially since he gets paid bonuses when his articles get lots of hits!) and I know he welcomes any feedback you or anyone else would like to give him.

Until next time...happy reading!

Cross-Country Skiers Are Nuts

So...I really do hate snow, winter and being wet and cold. However, I guess because I have a newfound love of sledding (see previous post), Jacob thought it would be awesome to go cross-country skiing. I wasn't horribly thrilled with the idea, but I do try to be open to trying new things, so I gave a hesitant thumbs up...and the experience was...well, I just don't understand what people think is so fun about it. Maybe it would have been better if my boots hadn't been too small (Jacob's sister and her hubby, who came with us, were kind enough to pick up the skis so I wasn't able to try them on beforehand)...my size 6 felt more like a size 4 (now I have these awesomely huge blisters on my heels). Maybe it would have been better if I was more coordinated: skiing uphill, fine...skiing on level ground, great...skiing downhill, not so much. Or maybe I should have paid attention to the sign...

I didn't feel like we were in any danger b/c of the conditions, I just felt more like I was a complete hazard to myself. Yeah. And despite my best efforts to stay like this...

...once we started going downhill, I spent most of my time like this...

Yeah, I eventually unclipped my skis and walked the rest of the way down. It's not the repeated falling that's so bad, it's getting back upright with two very lengthy sticks strapped to your feet that I found to be so incredibly frustrating. So I think I'll stick with sledding (as long as there's a 4-wheeler nearby).

I have something to say about that

First of all, have you noticed that the time the sun sets and it gets dark is slowly but surely getting later? I love it, even if I am at work.

A few days ago I was driving and listening to the radio...after all, the two do go hand in hand...and after a commercial I heard David's Cook's voice say, "This is David Cook, and you're listening to 97.1 ZHT." Fully expecting to hear "Light On," I was then greeted with the sounds of Lady GaGa. Now, don't get me wrong, I love songs about being so drunk you've lost all sense of who you are and what you're doing just as much as the next person, but I found it a bit silly that they didn't have David Cook introduce his own song so to speak. Later that night I was again driving and listening to the radio, and I heard "This is Chad from Nickelback, and you're listening to 103.9 the Mix," followed by Leona Lewis. Hmmm. Then just yesterday I heard David Cook promote 97.1 again, and they actually played his song afterwards. I guess there's not a protocol for this and if you're a DJ you just do whatever you want. If I was a DJ, I wouldn't mess up people's expectations like that.

Some people's newborns really do look like aliens, and you have to hide your fascinated awe at how their child truly resembles a martian by saying things like, "Awwwwww, look at your baby!!" Friends, I will never lie to you and say I think your kid's cute if I don't feel that way, so if I have said your child is cute, I meant it.

Speaking of babies, I've been feeling particularly sad about infertility lately. Plus my gyno, who I really liked, croaked and that hasn't helped the process. I should join an online support group or something so it's not so lonely.

Brownies for breakfast...that's just an awesome idea. Although you might feel kind of gross afterwards.

When people say things you think are stupid, you shouldn't lash out and tell them they're full of bull and they're contributing to the downfall of society, because even if you think those things are true, you're probably going to feel guilty about being so rude after you're done mouthing off at them...especially if you do it online...like, on facebook or something.

I hate snow and winter, but last Sunday I learned that if you have someone on a 4-wheeler to pick you up and take you back to the top of the road you just sped down, sledding is one of the most fun things ever.

That's all for now.

I am now a redhead

I get bored with my hair color easily. This weekend was one of those times, so while at Super Target w/my sister I decided to purchase some hair dye. I've been considering going red for a while now, as it's the one color I haven't tried yet (yup, I've been blonde, brown, black, blue and purple). However, in order to avoid doing something too incredibly drastic, I went with a color which was more brownish-auburn than actually red...or at least that's how it looked on the box. Well, apparently my hair quite likes being dyed because it took rather well to the color and even though I left the dye on for the minimum amount of time, my hair is REALLY red. Observe:

Ok, these pictures actually make it look pretty brown (there's only so much you can capture with a cell phone camera...), but I promise you it is very red. I do like it though, which is always a good thing.

Uuuuugggggh

So far in my almost 2 months of working in customer service I have been yelled at, cussed out, cried to, lied to, hung up on and asked how I can sleep at night while working for such a horrible company. I don't particularly enjoy that aspect of the job...but for the most part I've been able to let it slide right off my back. You know, like a duck in the water or whatever that analogy is. Tonight though...oy...it was a rough one. Here's the Reader's Digest version of the call that started the scenario that's bugging me:

Me: "Hello, how may I help you?"
Him: "I need to cancel for a couple months 'cuz money is tight."
Me: "Do you need me to put your account on hold for a month or two while you get your finances in order?"
Him: "No, I just want to cancel for a few months. I'll call you when I can afford it again."
Me: "Well, cancellation is expensive, we charge 80% of your remaining balance..."
Him: "How much is that?"
Me: "Approximately $2000 because you're only 6 months into your 5 year contract."
Him: "That's a ridiculous amount of money! So you're telling me I'm screwed?"
Me: "Well, we can put your account on hold for a few months and that wouldn't cost you anything."
Him (sarcastically): "You guys are such a great company, I'm so glad to be working with you, you really care about your customers."
Me: "Again sir, I can freeze your account for a while but I can't cancel you w/out that cancellation fee."
Him: "Man, I'm going to write a blog about you guys or something." (He really did say that, I'm not even joking.)
Me: "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Him (once again with the sarcasm): "You know what? Thank you."
Me: "Have a good night."

And then I hung up. Was I trying to be a jerk? No, although I would have liked to tell the guy he's retarded and it's not my problem he signed a contract w/out reading it first. But I genuinely thought we were done...so that's why I hung up. But then he called back and my friend and co-worker who happens to sit right next to me got the call. Theirs went a little something like this:

Friend: "How may I help you?"
Him: "The girl I was just talking to hung up on me. She was totally rude, she wouldn't let me talk, she just kept explaining things to me and I couldn't get a word in. And she hung up. That's not how you treat people, I am very mad, grrrrrrrrrr."
Friend: "I apologize, how can I help you?"
Him: "Well, I want to freeze my account. And I want to file a complaint against that girl I talked to. I need your supervisor."
Friend: "She is my supervisor."
Him: "Then I want her supervisor."
Friend: "She's the only supervisor here, but I'll pass along the complaint to her boss and he can pull the call and coach her as necessary."
Him: "Heh heh, is that what you guys are calling it these days, 'coaching?'"
Friend: "I'll pass it along sir. And I'll freeze your account for 2 months. Sign the paper when we mail it to you."
Him: "Ok, thanks for your great customer service, I'm glad you don't suck like that stupid girl I was just talking to."
Friend: "Good night sir."

So once my friend got off the phone, he laughed and told me the guy was a moron and he's not going to pass along his complaint to my boss. I shrugged and said he could if he felt like it, I didn't do anything wrong. But then it started bugging me...so I went back and pulled the call where I talked to him and you know what? I was a little short with him. After listening to it again, I can see that he most likely wasn't done talking when I hung up. And although the mistake was a genuine one, it still bothers me because I could have handled it better. Yeah, the guy was a complete jerk and yeah I have a nasty cold and really don't feel well but that doesn't justify me handling it the way I did. Sigh.

I'm fairly certain my friend didn't forward this customer's complaint to my boss, and even if he did, I'm pretty sure that the most disciplinary action I'd get would be a small slap on the wrist and the instruction to remember to ask the customer if there's anything else they need help with before hanging up the phone and that would be it. So that's good. But I don't want to be a crappy employee, so I think I just need to remember that people are different...they come from different backgrounds, and while I was raised in a home where I was taught that being mean and nasty and yelling at people doesn't accomplish anything, maybe this guy was taught that if you're really sarcastic and rude then you can prevent some stupid alarm company from ripping you off. So yeah, all I can do is hopefully use this as a learning experience to help me be better next time (although for the record, I do think it sucks that in my job, I have to let people treat me like shit for the sake of the company). And now that I've vented about it here, hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight. The NyQuil is kicking in too, so that should help...

New Year's Eve

*I totally forgot to bring my camera when we went out for New Year's Eve so I'm stealing these pics from Amanda's facebook. Yes, I'm a picture thief.*

I hope everyone had a great time ringing in the new year--good riddance to 2008 and here's to 2009 being much, much better! :-) We were technically in the car at the stroke of midnight, but we spent the first couple of hrs of 2009 dancing in a club and that was super fun. Our night out came complete with a creepy stalker guy and ended with us helplessly watching Peter get violated by a drunk lesbian. Awesome.

Anyway, here are some pics from that evening...

The guy behind me in the blue shirt is our creepy stalker friend. Yes.

Anyway, I really do hope you all had a great New Year's Eve--and that 2009 turns out to be a great year for everyone! :-)