Beating the Bah Humbug

My poor neglected blog. It's not that I haven't had things to write about...we moved (pics to come...in theory), I've been getting in squabbles w/friends over politics (you know me and my rants), I had a run-in with the RUDEST Wal-Mart cashier ever...yeah, stuff is happening. But I guess I haven't really been that motivated to write lately. Hopefully I'll do better now.

Anyhoo...Christmas. I am not a fan. I used to be...I used to go all out w/the decorating (my house would be covered in lights and we had a really big tree) and I would refuse to listen to anything but Christmas music once December came. But then...2 years ago I found out on the day after Thanksgiving that I'd lost a baby and those of you who read this regularly know the continuous struggle I've faced. Needless to say, the Christmas season following that horrible event was awful and it has been ever since. Now, this isn't something I want to whine about right now...I do enough complaining as it is. But that's why I really don't like the holidays.

This Christmas season started out no different...I was bummed out and in general quite grumpy about it. But then my little sister burned me this CD:

Now, I'm sure most of you are thinking, "WHAT THE..." but yes, those are cabbage patch kids. When I was little...probably 5 or 6...my grandparents gave me this record for Christmas (yeah, this was back in the day when people actually listened to records). I guess they used to have a cabbage patch television show and this was the Christmas episode...I have no idea really...but in the years following my sister and I listened to it pretty much non-stop from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day. We even made a movie of it one year (SO humiliating to watch it now...seriously...). I think if you were to add up all the times we listened to it, the sum would be well over a thousand.

So needless to say, I was really excited when she gave it to me...she spent a lot of time and effort on the internet finding and downloading the songs, which I greatly appreciate. It was pretty much getting back a piece of my childhood that symbolizes the magic of Christmas. And even though I'm 27 years old and most definitely not a child, I still listen to it like one. I crank up the volume and sing my guts out completely without shame...it's helped take away some of the sadness. So thank you Kaj for making the season a lot more bearable. :-)

P.S. If anyone wants me to burn them a copy just let me know...it's totally awesome with songs like "Christmas Day in the Cabbage Patch is a Happy Whoop-De-Do" and "Gimmie Gimmie Take Take"...how could anyone resist???

LOVE it

Unconditional Love

I need a vacation. I haven't had a day off from work (well, except for the usual weekend) since July...and I'm not one of those people who can work for months at a time without taking a break. I'm burned out, and it's starting to show. I've started to hate Mondays with a firey passion, I'm not very patient with customers even when they're not yelling at me, I'm significantly less social than usual when I'm at the office...and co-workers whom I typically don't mind are starting to drive me insane (I swear, I don't think I can handle listening to one more person bitch about having to answer the phone...you work in a call center people, that's the only thing in your job description!!!). Not good...really not good. Fortunately, Thanksgiving is coming up in a couple weeks and then I'm taking a day off to move (not exactly relaxing, but not being at work either)...so I just gotta hold out.

However...when my shift is over and I finally get to come home, there is something that makes it all better: a happy reception from this guy:

I can't tell you how much better it makes me feel to walk in the door and see that my black fuzzy furball is so happy I'm home. He circles my legs while I set down my purse and hang up my jacket, and after I pick him up his happy purrs melt away the day's frustrations...I've been gone for the past 9 hours and he's missed me. There's little in the world that makes me feel more special.

Hope

So...I've been debating whether or not to discuss my infertility situation any more than I have, and today I decided that I will. This experience, as awful as it's been, has taught me a lot and I want to continue to share what I've learned and how I've grown. So here goes...

On Friday I had my consult at the Reproductive Care Center up in Sandy. I had prepared myself for the worst...several times during this process I have set my expectations too high based on what my doctors have promised me and at this point I've learned to lower them instead as to avoid further heartbreak.

Some brief background: my first doctor put me on clomid, I got pregnant, I lost the baby. It happens. He put me back on clomid with the promise that if it didn't work on the lowest dose, he'd raise it and continue to work with me...but 3 months later I was referred to the infertility specialist after taking the same dose and nothing else. The infertility specialist, after briefly listening to my symptoms and medical history told me I needed in vitro...he even offered to have his loan officer friend get me a loan for the money. That didn't really sit right with me and I pressed for tests, which I did get...and then my gyno passed away. I decided to take a break for a few months, after which I found my current gyno. I went in for my initial visit with him, and to his credit he did listen very carefully to my situation, asking probing questions to get a better grip on what was wrong. He, as I've mentioned before, assured me he had an arsenal of things to try. He did raise my dose of clomid and put me on progesterone which supposedly should have helped...but 4 months later he told me it was time to go to the infertility specialist. This time I did my own research, and thanks to the testimonials of those who've already been down this road, I decided to give the RCC a try.

Which brings us back to the consult. So there I was, sitting on the doctor's couch waiting to hear what I've heard from everyone else...and to my complete and utter surprise, I was told that in this doctor's professional opinion that while it's definitely something to keep in the back of my mind as a last resort, he doesn't think I need to do in vitro. Uhhhhh...what? I was really hesitant to believe him at first...but here's what I learned from him:
-Clomid was not originally created as a fertility drug...it was actually a birth control pill. That's right, birth control. After it had been on the market for a while, doctors started noticing one of the side effects was that it caused women to ovulate so eventually it was used for fertility instead. However, while fertile couples have a 16% chance of getting pregnant every month, women taking Clomid only have an 8% chance...it thins the uterine lining and does a couple of other things that make it difficult to get pregnant. Hmmmmmm.
-He was shocked I had never been treated for PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), because most of the women he treats who have my exact symptoms have it. Interesting. So I finally got an actual diagnosis.

There's more...but I don't want to bore anyone w/more medical details than necessary. Anyway, after the doctor explained all this to me...he asked for my questions. I thanked him for his explanations and asked what he thought would be the best course of treatment. I expressed to him that I am willing to try whatever he thinks has a good chance of being successful--but also at this point I'm ready to bring out the big guns. So here's the plan: he's putting me on a combination of a fertility pill (NOT Clomid) and a shot...and then once I've ovulated we're going to try artificial insemination. And while the medications and actual procedure are not covered by my insurance, this is of course significantly less expensive than IVF.

I know there is still a good chance this won't work...but I cannot express to you how amazing it is to have a plan other than taking more of that blasted Clomid. There's a REAL plan in place and for the first time in what feels like forever, I have hope. It's a really nice feeling to have. So I'll keep y'all posted.

P.S. They also wanted me to take a Glucose test, which I did today...and I'd like to say that the stuff they give you to drink is disgusting. Seriously, ew.

In Remembrance...

My heart goes out to the wife and children of Ben Hill, the UVU flight instructor who was killed when his plane crashed yesterday at the Provo airport. Please send your prayers and good vibes to those he left behind.

Some People Suck

So...I don't typically like to use my blog to complain about work, because that's no fun to read. But every once in a while something will happen that I can't resist talking about. This is one of those things that makes me question the goodness of humanity. Ok, not really, but it was pretty sickening to me.

As you all know, since I'm the night supervisor at work, I get to take a lot of escalated calls. A good chunk of these involve customers wanting to cancel before the term of their contract is over--there's a pretty steep early termination fee which our sales reps never disclose (although it is on the contract...in the fine print) and people get really pissed about it.

Anyway, the other night I took an escalated call from a gentleman wanting to cancel. He had been speaking to another agent, and eventually got heated enough that he dropped the f-bomb. Now, company policy states if the customer is using profanity we can terminate the call, and that's exactly what the agent did. Once he was transferred to me, I explained the policy to him, and he understood but said he was also angry because he had told her he needed to cancel due to the fact that he and his wife would be serving an LDS mission and couldn't afford to keep the system while they were out...and when he dropped the f-bomb, the agent made a comment about how he's planning on serving a mission and talking like that and he felt judged. Ok, I guess I get that...although you'd think people preparing for a mission wouldn't speak like that.

However, as he continued to complain I read the notes on his account--apparently he'd been trying to cancel for quite a while and his story had changed a lot. First he said his contract was supposed to be for just one year, then two, then three (it was actually for five)...he had sent in a copy of the confirmation of installation document (NOT the contract, where the length is clearly listed in 2 places) on which he had clearly written in the contract length and forged the initials of our tech in an attempt to show he had documentation of his supposed contract length. He continued complaining, and I thought to myself, "Typically couple missionaries are older, and this guy does not sound elderly at all..." I didn't have the pleasure of hearing any curse words from him, but he certainly was not happy when I told him his situation had already been researched by our dispute resolution dept and they had determined he was properly informed of the terms of his contract and we would be holding him to it. At that point, he made a few more rude comments and then hung up on me.

I sent another e-mail to our dispute resolution department because in the course of his ranting, he threatened to call Get Gephardt (a common threat from our Utah customers) and whenever a customer threatens going to an outside agency to complain we're supposed to notify that department. The next day, the girl from dispute resolutions came to me and said to keep the situation from escalating they had decided to lower the contract length so the customer would be able to cancel before their mission...BUT, when she called the customer to discuss it, he had no idea what she was talking about. He said he thought our company had gone under and that we had been purchased by another alarm company. Red flags popping up, she pulled the call from the night before when I had supposedly talked to him, and the voice was not the same. So she typed in the phone # the guy had called from into our archives database. As it turns out, obviously the guy I was speaking with was not the customer--it was actually a sales rep from another company trying to steal our customer. And this wasn't the only account he had called in about--there were several others, including one on which he pretended to be the customer's son and said he needed to cancel the account because his mother had died. Yeah, she's alive and well.

I cannot believe someone would actually take that much time and effort to create elaborate lies in order to get a bigger paycheck. I bet if this jerk would have spent all the time he wasted verbally assaulting us actually out knocking doors selling instead, he probably would have made more commission than he would have had we not caught him. KILLS me. I guess it shows what money will motivate some people to do...and that's really sad.

A Look Into the Paranormal

So...as you've all seen from my last blog post, I am excited to report that I have found a scary movie that's actually scary. Honestly, I haven't been that scared since the first time I saw The Ring (say what you will about that one, but right after I saw it I went to visit my grandparents, whose guest bedroom has a TV right in front of the bed...yeah, I barely got any sleep).

SPOILER ALERT: I will do my best not to reveal too much about it for you other crazy kids who will actually want to see it, but I make no promises.

Anyway, there are a couple of factors that make Paranormal Activity particularly scary...
#1-You don't necessarily have to believe in God, but you have to believe in the existence of the devil (although in my opinion the two go hand in hand). So you atheists might have a bit of a hard time getting sucked in.

At first, the movie looks like a ghost story. It's not.

#2-You need to understand the rules of dealing with this kind of stuff so you will recognize when they are broken, which they are...several times.

Now, most of you know I claim to have lived in a haunted house...to this day I'm still 100% convinced that what I felt and saw was evidence of life after death. After living there, I wanted to learn all I could about ghosts and the paranormal...so I read up on it. I currently have an entire bookshelf full of books on the subject. Now before you all go thinking I'm messing with things I shouldn't be, let me say I'm not into paganism or wicca--I don't have any books on performing spells or communicating with ghosts or any of that...I simply enjoy reading accounts of other people's encounters w/the paranormal and how they dealt with it, should I ever encounter it again.

In reading these things, I quickly learned the do's and don'ts of it all. When dealing with a malevolent entity in particular, the numero uno rule that should NEVER be broken...EVER...is using a ouija board. That is the one thing paranormal experts agree on--don't use them, you're inviting stuff in. Another rule is not to taunt the entity or attempt to play games with it because you're going to further aggravate it, which is a really bad idea. Lasty, it's important to remember that malevolent entities feed off of negative energy...so if you're bringing that into the home, it can potentially strengthen whatever's there.

So, having said all that...here's my review of the film itself: while we can all take comfort in the fact that this movie is a mockumentary and the people in it are just actors who are living safe and sound in their own homes, it is still a realistic illustration of what could happen (if you believe in this kind of stuff). I have read several accounts of paranormal manifestations, and the movie definitely follows the pattern of documented hauntings. It is fast-paced enough that it's not boring...you don't have to wait long before you start seeing the creepy stuff. And yet it's patient enough to have a balance between scary and non scary...which is a really great way to build the suspense leading up to the climax. If you believe and allow yourself to be sucked in, by the second half of the movie you will be bracing yourself whenever the sun goes down and the unfortunate people go to bed. And I guarantee that by the end your heart will be pounding and you will be on the edge of your seat.

While I'd like to say that the movie is without flaw...I am disappointed to report that at the very last second, it reverts to one of the worst horror cliches ever. Think Liv Tyler waking up and screaming at the end of The Strangers. You know it's going to happen, and it's a total climax kill when it does. There is an alternate ending which is slightly better, but still not amazing. The dumb thing is all they had to do was take out the very last second and leave the rest as it was and it would have been perfect. But I suppose the temptation to try to get one more jump out of the audience was just too great.

Anyway, to conclude, Paranormal Activity is scary, and I highly recommend it to horror fans. If you want to see it though, you should probably hurry up...it's only playing at a couple theaters in Utah (that I know of) and I doubt it will be there long.

Wow.

More coming on this later--but I wanted to post the trailer for the movie Jacob and I saw yesterday. You know how I'm always on the quest to find a horror film that's actually scary? Well, mission accomplished...

I can't find a video that's low def enough to fit all the way on blogger, but you can still get the idea.

Reasons I Love Jacob (in no particular order)

So even though it's just past midnight, it is technically my anniversary. 6 years...we're definitely not newlyweds any more huh? Anyway, this year I decided to honor another year of marriage by listing (as you can see in the title) some of the reasons why I love my hubby. Here goes...

1. He's HOT (not the most important thing, but definitely one of the best perks!)
2. I can tell him anything
3. He likes movies, especially horror films
4. We make a great team
5. The man can BBQ
6. He takes care of me when I'm sick
7. He likes to keep a clean house
8. He's manly but never a tool
9. He knows when to joke and when to be sensitive
10. He always knows how to cheer me up when I'm having a bad day
11. He's been SUPER supportive during this whole infertility mess
12. He's totally driven and does what he needs to in order to achieve his goals
13. He doesn't laugh at me when I'm singing my guts out in the car
14. He sings in the shower
15. He's really smart
16. He accepts me for who I am, insanity and all
17. He's not afraid to try new things
18. He motivates me to be a better person
19. He reminds me that even when life is hard, you can still have fun
20. He hates dogs (sorry dog lovers, but we will be cat people till the day we die)
21. He knows when to just listen and when to give advice
22. He's really good with kids
23. He goes to the library and tries to find books for me to read since I'm too impatient to do it myself
24. He takes me away for the weekend when things get too stressful
25. He is passionate about the things he does, especially flying
26. His solution every time we get into an argument is to hug, and it works
27. He has the best laugh
28. When I'm away on a business trip and I call him b/c I had a nightmare, he sings to me to calm me down
29. He brings me doughnuts on Valentine's Day in addition to flowers
30. He works the graveyard shift to help w/the bills even though he's in school

...and I could go on. But, I actually gotta wake the poor guy up so he can go to work.

Happy Anniversary Jacob, I love you!!!!!

It's the little things...

...in life that bring me so much joy. :-) Such as this video, and I'd daresay it has brought a lot of others joy too, seeing as how it has almost 70 million views on YouTube.

Apartment Hunting

Dear landlords of Utah County,

As I have been dilligently searching the ads on KSL and craigslist for apartments to rent, I have noticed several things: the pricing seems fairly competitive, the descriptions sound appealing, many of you have various types of "move in specials," and...oh yeah, most of you are pet haters (and smoking haters, but that's a totally different conversation). In this not so great economy, it seems like you would want to have a leg up on the competition, therefore I am baffled by the repeated "NO PETS" policy most of you mandate. If you need to rent your apartment out so badly, why not increase the demographic of potential tenants? Seems to me like that's a pretty simple business tactic.

Now, before you jump in and tell me horror stories about how much damage pets can cause, let me say if you are genuinely concerned about that, there's this little thing called a non-refundable pet deposit (which is, of course, separate from the regular security deposit). That way, after your tenants move out you can clean the carpets and all that good stuff if by chance there is damage. Not to mention you could charge an extra $50 a month in the form of a "pet fee," which gives you double coverage should something get damaged. Speaking as a pet owner, as long as the rent is reasonable, I can assure you we will pay your pet deposit and fee. Honestly, we will.

So seriously, it would be a stellar idea to change your minds regarding this no pets thing...after all, you're losing money right now with your investment properties sitting vacant. Just saying...if you open your hearts to the animal lovers of the world, it will profit you.

Thank you,
Discouraged Pet Owner


Seriously though people, we need a new place to live. I'm tired of living in a complex where the police are frequent visitors, I'm woken up in the middle of the night because someone is screaming, I'm prevented from falling asleep by the drunken tenants fighting in the courtyard, etc. We can pay up to $675 base rent and would preferably like to live anywhere besides Orem/Provo (but at this point I'm getting less and less picky). And of course, we have our 2 cats...who are extremely well-behaved and don't pee anywhere other than their litter box. So if you know of anything, PLEASE let me know and I will reward you w/cookies or brownies or potstickers (yes, I make some darn good ones...) or some form of edible delight. And we won't even ask you to help us move (um, unless you're related to us, in which case please ignore that last part). :-)

Beyonce Baby

Ok, most of you have probably seen this already, but I thought it was pretty funny...

Model of Shame

My poor, incredibly neglected blog...how I wish I was more motivated to post stuff. Anyway, thought I should probably let everyone know that I'm still alive...somewhat...so here we go.

First off, I would like to report that not much has happened in our lives lately, which can be good or bad depending on how you look at it. One exciting feat is my amazingly talented pilot hubby has successfully passed all his tests for his instrument rating (such tests include flying w/blinders on so he can't see anything other than his instruments...scary) and can now begin working on his commercial rating. There's a light at the end of the tunnel...it's very, very small but it's there. As for me, I'm still working all the days of my life and getting yelled at on each and every one of them. Fortunately, my soul has become sufficiently numb so it doesn't bother me much.

Anyway, that's about it for updates. Boring, huh? Well, I don't want my blog to be boring. A friend of mine recently showed me a book of ideas to make one's blog super awesome, and one of them was not being afraid to share humiliating stories from your past...so in an attempt to make my blog super awesome, here is my story.

So, my senior year of high school I took a bunch of science classes w/a medical emphasis. My original endeavor in my life was to become a Paramedic or an ER nurse (this was before I realized I don't like being partially responsible for whether someone lives or dies), so I was preparing myself for a future of blood and guts and the like. It was going to be glorious. Anyway, one of these classes was medical anatomy. For the most part I enjoyed it (who didn't want to take a field trip to poke around in a bunch of cadavers?), but every once in a while we were given projects which I considered to be extremely lame.

Something you also should know is that I am the queen of procrastination. I think I averaged 3-4 hrs of sleep a night throughout my high school career...and I pulled a lot of all-nighters.

Anyway, back to medical anatomy. When we were learning about muscles, my teacher assigned a homework project which definitely fell into my lame category: we were to make a model of a muscle. We could pick whatever muscle we wanted and use pretty much any material we wanted, but the main thing was that the model had to show the function of the muscle. In other words, it had to actually move.

I'm fairly certain we were given at least 2-3 weeks to complete the assignment. It was due on a Monday...and as I recall, I started working on it the Saturday before. Uh, yeah. I scavenged around the house not really knowing what I was looking for. I ended up down in the basement by my Dad's work bench, and I picked up a small board I thought looked like a suitable base. Mind you I still had no idea which muscle I was going to do. I continued searching...not finding anything. The minutes ticked on, and soon I had to leave for work...I closed that night (I worked at Arby's) and I had church the next morning, so by the time I got back to working on it, it was Sunday afternoon. Finally in desperation, I found some red fabric. I cut out the shape of a bicep...stuffed it w/some fluffy stuff I found in my mom's material scraps, and sewed that sucker together. I then mounted it on the board with thumbtacks (remember that the assignment was to build a muscle that actually moved? Yeah, I threw that out the window...). For your viewing pleasure, here is a rough drawing of what it looked like...the black square is the board, and the red blob in the middle is the bicep. And of course, the black dots are the thumbtacks.

It was utterly and completely pathetic, but I put my name on it regardless and hoped for the best.

I went to school the next morning ready for it to be all over with. I walked into class praying no one would notice my poor excuse for a muscle...and then I saw the models my classmates had created...all of which looked better than mine. Oh yeah, and they all moved too. I sat next to one of the smartest people in school, and he told me how his grandma is an engineer so she helped him with his. He made a model of the eye. The freaking human eye (and yeah, it moved)! He asked to see mine, and I responded by glaring at him and shaking my head. Fortunately, when it came time to hand them in and I actually had to take it out of my backpack, he was kind enough to not say anything. I thought that would be the end of it...

UNFORTUNATELY...my teacher decided we should each take a turn to present our models to the entire class. So while everyone else got up there with elbows and knees and human eyes, all of which looked amazing and demonstrated how the muscle works, I had to get up with my piece of fluff on a board and say, "This is a bicep. It moves. Except mine doesn't move." I literally wanted to die.

Anyway, this is why you shouldn't procrastinate, kids. You will end up coming to school with a stupid-looking muscle model and people will laugh at you.

The end.

Explanation

Dear friends,

Sorry for writing cryptic posts and vague facebook status updates (for those of you who are friends w/me on facebook...ahem, KAJ...j/k, I know you will never get a facebook page...). My mood has been rapidly shifting from devastated, to pissed as hell, to optimistic, then back to pissed, then devastated, then refocused to optimistic, and so on...and quite frankly, I haven't been able to muster the will to do much of anything other than what I've absolutely had to.

Most of you probably know this by now, but all this is because last week my doctor called and said that there's nothing more he can do AKA it's in vitro time. This was quite a blow; when I first started seeing this doctor in March he assured me he had an entire arsenal of things he would try to assist me in getting pregnant...or that's what I thought he said. What he actually said is that he had an entire arsenal of things to assist me in ovulating, which my body refuses to do on its own. Big difference. But you see, according to my blood tests I am ovulating when I take the fertility drugs, so he's done his job. So while I initially felt completely abandoned by the news, I now at least understand why I'm once again being shipped off to the in vitro man.

There are several things I struggle with regarding this whole thing, such as how is it that I somehow got pregnant before while taking the lowest dose of the fertility drugs, but now I'm on the highest dose and nothing? What could be wrong, since both my husband and I were tested for the obvious problems and came out with perfectly normal results? And mainly, WHY???? Why is is that the one thing I want more than anything in the entire world is the one thing I cannot seem to have?

What I've come to accept, however, is that there are not answers to any of those questions. There's speculation and theories, but there are no answers. It is what it is and I'm out of options. So we're going to try the in vitro...I told Jacob I want to try it once and if it doesn't work, so be it. We can try to adopt in a few years perhaps.

Having said that, if anyone has any information regarding in vitro they could share with me, I'd greatly appreciate it. And for those of you who already have, thank you so much. I promise that while my correspondence as of late has been really bleak and depressing, I am fine. Or rather, I'm determined to be fine and will do what it takes to get there. It just might take a while. I'd also like to say that I am sincerely grateful for all of your support and kind words, because that's what's getting me through this.

Love,
Julie

Abandoned

I should probably be more private about how I feel about the things going on in my life right now. Eh, screw it.

My New Fav

You should all watch this TV show. It is, as the British would say, absolutely brilliant. I LOVE it, and I'm not typically a sci-fi kind of person...

Jacob looks good in a wetsuit

This past weekend Jacob planned to compete in a 1.7 mile swim in a lake up in Sandpoint, Idaho. Instead of making the very long drive, he decided to take one of his flight buddies with him and fly up, cutting the travel time in half and giving him an excuse to get in a plane, since he loves it so much. They made it halfway, stopped to refuel and once they got in the air again they realized the flaps on their plane were frozen, which I guess isn't a huge deal but is not a good idea if one is flying mountainous terrain with which they are unfamiliar.

I'd like to interject here that I am so incredibly grateful Jacob's careful about this stuff, it makes me feel much better to know he's as safe as he can be.

So they landed in Boise and called the director of aviation at UVU to see what they should do. At this point, it was 9:00pm and Sandpoint was still 3 hours away. Finally it was decided that they shouldn't continue their flight and would need to stay in Boise and fly back to Provo the next day. Unfortunately, this meant that despite all the training and preparation he did (including buying a new wetsuit), there would be no swimming competition for Jacob. Bummer, right? Fortunately, my husband has a way of making the best of things, and instead he put on his wetsuit and swam in the pool at the hotel. Cute, right? Yeah, I sure do like him.

Anyway, here are some pics...doesn't he look good in the wetsuit? I think he's hot.

I Love Las Vegas

If you ever want to take a road trip to Vegas and you need someone to go with you, give me a call. So help me I love that place. Went this past weekend with a couple of my friends, we had an amazingly fun time. :-)

A Slasher Film Lover's Lament

Jacob and I were hiking today (in the 102 degree heat...without water...we are so smart it kills me) and we were discussing, as we often do, movies. I specifically was talking about horror/slasher films, and I commented how I've been meaning to blog about how the evolution of the slasher film is not to my liking. It bugs me. So I'm blogging about it.

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen My Bloody Valentine, Friday the 13th or Halloween and you want to, don't read on.

So...I think we all know by now just how much of a horror film fan I am. I love the exhilaration of the life/death scenarios being played out, and I love to challenge my bravery by seeing if a scary movie will actually frighten me (not to brag, but they usually don't...which is surprisingly disappointing). Slasher films, I feel, are a sub-genre of horror, and they have their own set of rules which I will hereafter refer to as the moral code. People write essays and theses about it...when Jacob and I go to the Pop Culture Association convention, there are entire panels on this stuff. It's great.

ANYWAY, here's the basic gist of the slasher film moral code: if you have sex, you will die. If you are a jerk to other characters at pretty much any point in the movie, you will die. If you are breaking the law, dealing/taking drugs, drinking, being a hooligan or otherwise, you will die. However, if you are a virgin, not overly popular, not the best looking but an all-around decent person (very few of whom are found in slasher films), you will live. Actually, you will be one of the only ones to live. Take Jamie Lee Curtis in the original Halloween, for example. She's the only one without a date and she's stuck babysitting on Halloween which is pretty much the lamest thing ever for a teenager. Her friends are good-looking, have boyfriends and are getting their party on. And then they die, one by one (courtesy of Michael Myers, in my opinion the best slasher film villain ever). For me, it's fun to be able to watch what a character does and pronounce their death sentence upon them (yeah yeah, I'm morbid...but I'm ok with it), so I'm definitely a fan of the code.

However, I'm disturbed by the remakes that have been coming out because they are NOT sticking to the code!! Take My Bloody Valentine, for example (side note--slasher films are extra fun in 3D). As I understand it, this is a remake--I haven't actually seen the original, so maybe my argument is not valid, maybe the original doesn't stick to the code either. ANYWAY, at the end of this one the audience is faced with the all-too-familiar problem of "who done it." Being the intelligent viewers we are, we've narrowed it down to 2 guys: the local sheriff who has been cheating on his wife with her co-worker (who is her subordinate at the local grocery store--she dies), and the really nice albeit emotionally scarred (but with good reason--he witnessed the bad guy killing people with his pickax the first time around) high school sweetheart who has come back into town to basically get closure. So I, using my vast knowledge of the code, deduced that the culprit was surely the 2-timing jerk of a sheriff.

Um, NO. It's the nice guy. The dude who, in his youth, was a victim of horrible things and had basically spent his entire life in therapy trying to resolve his issues. Turns out he's crazy, has a split-personality and goes around dressed as a miner with a vengeance for...everyone. What does this tell us? That if you cheat on your wife, it will be ok, and she will save you in the end. Pitiful.

Moving on, next example. Friday the 13th...I'm sure you've all seen at least one of them, I think there are more sequels to this one than any of the other slasher films. Regarding the original film, the director has been really blunt about stating that he "followed the code," so to speak. I watched an interview with him where he talked about anyone who had sex had to die. And in the original, it is the one virtuous girl who manages to survive the wrath of Jason (or his mother, really).

Then we have the remake that came out this year. Feeling very certain of myself, I watched as all the youth made their choices and sealed their fate. The girl who was a slut was killed. The guys who were drinking beer and smoking pot were killed. The one kid who was a really big jerk to everyone died. At that point, there were just 2 people left--a nice young man looking for his sister and the virgin who had spent the beginning of the movie rejecting the advances of the jerky kid (she, not that it has anything to do with the plot, was played by a Disney-channel alumni...just saying, that association adds a lot to her character's wholesomeness). So you figure they're all gonna live, right?

Um, NO. Just when you think they're about to be in the clear, the kind-hearted virgin gets gutted by a machete, a la Jason.

What is the deal?? Is the moral code sacred to no one but me? Why no, no it's not. Apparently, it's sacred to me and Rob Zombie. Yes, that's right, Rob Zombie. Now, I haven't seen House of 1000 Corpses and I only made it through about 30 minutes of The Devil's Rejects (even I have my limits, there's a difference between actual horror and brainless shock value), which I guess can be considered slasher films (although I'd say the jury's still out). But I did see his remake of Halloween (which, for the record, is awesome--getting the guy who played Sabretooth in X-Men to play Michael Myers was genius--he's freaking huge and intimidating as ever), and he certainly had no trouble sticking to the moral code in that one.

Ok, maybe there were a couple of people who were murdered who didn't quite deserve it (the security guard at the asylum, for example...but his death was necessary for escape, he was in the way). But there's one part where a mother and her young child stop at a rest stop to use the bathroom. Michael Myers comes into the bathroom, but does he kill them? Why no, he does not. He just takes the mom's purse and steals her car...which is not really ideal but it is far preferable to death, especially death by a giganormous, criminally insane, William Shatner mask-wearing force of nature. He lets them live when he very easily could have killed them. That has moral code written all over it.

So thus ends my discussion on the matter. I have yet to figure out why these directors have felt the need to stray from the code that has been so carefully constructed by those who directed the original slasher films...which begs the question why was there even a moral code in the first place. I personally think it's a checks and balance system for all the evil and senseless killing. Opposition in all things and what not. But it's 3:00am and I need to get to bed, so I'll have to explore those questions another time. In the meantime, if anyone has any thoughts...

That was very frightening.

Sigh. We need to move, seriously. Why has our apartment complex gone completely down the tubes into crappyville? Could it be because whatever units are not rented magically become government subsidized low income housing? Perhaps. Not that I'm saying all people who need low income housing are trouble, but the ones here surely seem to be. Whatever.

So I was in bed, sound asleep (WHY do these things always have to happen in the wee hours of the morning??) when I was awoken by some woman screaming bloody freaking murder. I am not exaggerating. It sounded like she had managed to get to a window and started screaming, "HELP ME HELP ME OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE" as if her life depended on it. We have really good accoustics here and it echoed throughout the courtyard, I'm sure the entire complex heard it. Shortly after the screaming began, a window slammed shut and the screaming became very muffled, then stopped.

My first instinct was to charge, so I dove out of bed, grabbed my robe and my phone and stomped out my door, ready to find out what the hell was going on and put a stop to it. However, apparently I am somewhat slow and uncoordinated after being jolted awake at 3:30am, so in the time it took me to get decent and grab my stuff, several people had already done so in a shorter amount of time, and they were charging instead. Ok with me.

My neighbor called the police, last I checked they were still here talking to everyone. I can't tell what's going on since I haven't gone back outside--I figure I can't tell them anything more than they've heard from everyone else. But I am absolutely terrified that someone is being hurt, raped or killed. I have never heard anyone scream like that before, ever. I know there's not exactly a lot the police can do if they get here and it's quiet, but part of me wants to beg them to ram down the door of whatever apartment it is. What if whoever was terrorizing this girl managed to shut her up and is now doing horrible, unspeakable things to her?? This is what's going to keep me awake.

Ok well, looks like the police are gone now. Maybe they found the woman, hopefully she's ok. I certainly pray she is. So, uh, yeah...anyone know of anyplace that allows pets and will be available to rent in December???

A Plea...

So today I was flipping through the channels and I happened to pause at the Tyra Banks show. Now, I do not normally watch that show...I'm not a Tyra fan (although I will admit I totally dig America's Next Top Model) and I really love it when Joel makes fun of her on The Soup. But I guess today's topic caught my attention enough to pay attention for more than 2 seconds. Tyra was talking to a woman...a pregnant woman who smokes. They were discussing the hazards of smoking during pregnancy...this woman already had 2 kids with severe asthma which they got as a result of her smoking when she was pregnant with them. Despite all the damning evidence in front of her, the stupid woman refused to quit.

There is a also girl I work with who is pregnant and smokes. I guess there's one every summer--if you recall my post from last year.

Needless to say, after watching that show and seeing my co-worker light up for at least the 4th time during her shift, my ire is significantly raised. Yes, I'm sure it's mostly because of my own struggles with getting pregnant, but I'm fairly certain I would feel the same way even if I wasn't currently dealing with infertility.

I will not tell anyone how to live their life, and I believe that people need to make their own choices...if they want to put that shit into their body, that's their business. HOWEVER--when it affects someone else like that, an innocent life--that's when my tolerance completely vanishes. These women have been given such a precious gift...a gift that women like me would do literally anything to have. And for them to knowingly put their unborn child in harm's way for no reason other than their own stupid selfishness disgusts me. Yes, I understand it's an addiction but I'm sorry, that is no excuse. When you have been given the chance to be part of a miracle, it is your responsibility to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to ensure the safety and well-being of that miracle, addiction or no addiction.

I realize that the only people who read this blog are my friends and family, to none of whom this really applies. But still, I'm putting it out there...if you are pregnant, please, don't take it for granted. Do what you need to do to be healthy for your baby. Realize what you have.

7:00am on a Saturday...

...why am I freaking awake? Especially considering I got off work at 2am. Well, I have a story to tell, and it totally trumps the story I was planning to tell later today about how I slipped and fell flat on my face at work...in front of people. SO humiliating, and now I have bruises on both my knees (in addition to the juicy one on my leg)(I'm a hazard to myself, apparently). But that's boring compared to this baby.

Whoa Julie, stop before you build it up too much.

OK...so there I was at 6:00am, laying in bed sleeping, minding my own freaking business, when I was so rudely awakened by a loud bang and crazy yelling. Once I became somewhat coherent, I realized it was this chick from 2 floors down...she, her boyfriend and her younger brothers moved in just a couple weeks ago, and have already been the cause of much drama at our complex. Apparently she and her man have quite a volatile relationship and the cops were called when they got in a fight last week and threatened to kill each other. I dunno, I wasn't there for that one. But this morning, it was just the woman--she was banging, kicking and pounding on her next door neighbor's door...all the while yelling, "Don't you EVER knock on my wall again!" She was obviously very drunk, and I realized that she was blasting her music (Howie Day, of all the music to be blasting...lame), which is probably why someone knocked on her wall. It is very annoying to have music blaring in your ear at the crack of dawn (and again, it was Howie Day!).

Anyway, then some dude came out (from a totally different apartment) and yelled at the woman that people are sleeping and she needs to shut the hell up and go back inside her apartment. She told him to back off unless he wanted to fight with her. From the sound of his voice and how much his footsteps pounded, I'm fairly certain he was not in the least bit threatened by her. She eventually went back into her apartment, and the complex rejoiced at the peace and quiet as we all returned to bed (well, I called Jacob at work to tell him all about the drama he was missing, and then I got back in bed). But alas, our joy was short-lived, as 5 minutes later she was out doing it again. I waited, thinking surely the person whose door was being so loudly assaulted would call the police, but as it continued and the woman became more aggravated, I worried that nothing was being done, so I picked up my phone and called 911 myself...

...I'd never called 911 before (Jacob has lots of times, it came with the whole apartment manager thing), and it made me nervous. Then I felt especially bad because the dispatch lady kept asking me for a visual, and I kept telling her there was no way I was going outside to verify exactly which apartment it was. I know better than to piss off a drunk woman mid-rant. And what a delightful rant it was: after she got tired of warning not to knock on the wall, she yelled about how she owns eash-n-evry (that's my impression of her slurred speech--these things don't always translate very well to the written word haha) apartment and since she's the owner she's going to kick her out, blah blah blah. Then she went on to say that Russia is in control of the United States, and that's straight from Joseph Smith. Yeah, drunk off her rocker.

Then the police pulled up, and as soon as she saw them she shut up, raced to her apartment, slammed the door and turned Howie off all before the cops even got out of the car. The cops came, they knocked, they waited a few minutes, then they left. I think there was a bystander who talked to them for a second, but as they didn't actually see her there was probably not much they could do. I was disappointed. And I felt bad for them coming all the way out here for nothing. Although I suppose if just the sight of their car was enough to get the woman to stop (there hasn't been one peep from her or Howie since), that's something. And hopefully lots and lots of people will go complain to the manager once the office opens, so maybe we can all get her evicted. Because nobody wants a neighbor like that.

Yup, we need to move...November can't come fast enough.

The Passing of a Legend

Love him or hate him, the guy was an amazingly significant figure in music and pop culture. Rest in peace Michael.

Totally Gross

Don't even ask me how I got this bruise...it's the result of my complete lack of coordination and perhaps the effect of a large dose of Dramamine (but hey, it worked...this time when Jacob took me flying, I didn't have to spend the entire time trying not to barf). But yeah, this is the coolest bruise I've ever had...it's big and ugly and really purple. And it hurts like...well, it hurts a LOT.
Observe:



NASTY, huh? Yeah, it's digusting...I'm pretty proud of it.

Kelly!

Ok, so this concert happened over a week ago...sorry I suck. I've been in my dark place (more to come on that, I'm sure...so help me I can't pass up a self-indulgent rant...which I sometimes feel guilty about but aren't blogs themselves somewhat self-indulgent? Just saying...), and really haven't felt like blogging. But I wanted to post a few pics and a video of the Kelly Clarkson concert, because it was really enjoyable once we got past the hour and a half long advertisement for UVU. :-) I didn't even mind the rain...

The Veronicas Love Utah

Ok so I know I'm a dork, but I'm subscribed to The Veronicas page on facebook, so I get all these updates and video links. Today's was some interview they did--most of it is about living in LA and who inspires them and what not, but in the last minute or so they talk about the concert they did last year in Salt Lake and how it was one of their best concerts ever--and naturally I was excited because my sister Kaj and I were SO there...we are the ones who knew all the songs. That's right, they love us.

Anyway, I know Kaj will probably be the only one to watch it but here's the video:

Updates and Pet Peeves

Hello people. Yesterday I was at lunch w/a few of my close friends, and one of them commented about how I don't really update my blog that much (that's right, you know who you are... ;-)), so I thought I'd better write something haha. So here are my updates/thoughts this morning:

Work: I'm now back to my favorite 5:30pm-2:00am schedule. I'm not being sarcastic, I love this shift. I have all day to get stuff done, and then when I go to work it's only busy for half of my shift and then I basically get to enjoy 3 to 4 hours of peace and quiet. So nice.

Home: It's really hot and our swamp cooler is no Rocky Balboa if you know what I mean. We've taken to sleeping on top of the covers with a fan blasting directly into our faces. So that's slightly annoying. But on a happy note, the hummingbirds are back and have been frequenting our feeder, which is always fun to watch. The cats especially love it. :-)

Babies: Still don't have any. But I have a new doctor (since my other one died, if you recall...) who is very aggressive and I appreciate that. I take a lot of pills with some really funky side effects, but I won't complain about that because it's a pretty small price to pay. I will say though, no menopausal woman has anything on these hot flashes. WOAH (too much info??). And then there's the whole vision thing--my night vision has gone all crazy and if there's not enough light I tend to see double, which can be slightly freaky. But again, not complaining, and hopefully I will see some results one of these days. That would be nice.

Movies: We saw Star Trek this past weekend, which I originally didn't really want to see. But after reading the reviews, I changed my mind. It was actually really good, even if you haven't had much exposure to the TV show. So I'd recommend it.

And lastly, my Pet Peeve of the day: I think it's lame when you post a bunch of pictures on your facebook of you and your significant other grinning at the camera...and NOTHING ELSE. Sure, put a few pictures up of you guys being happy and in love, but we don't need to see 100 of them (literally). That is only something I'm willing to look at when people are actually engaged, and if said pictures are in actuality their engagement pics. No wannabe photos please.

Until next time...see ya.

Murderous Mayhem

Do you ever have one of those nights where you're extremely tired but not sleepy? That seems to be me at the moment. Although it's rapidly turning into a serious case of night-drunkeness. Yes.
DISCLAIMER: I am having a random night, so I apologize if any of this is disconnected or doesn't make sense. We'll see how this goes. Right-o.
So...Saturday we had the privilege of being invited to an amazingly entertaining murder mystery dinner, set in the 1930s. And did you know that if you procrastinate getting a costume until the last minute, you will have to buy the first thing you find at DI to match the fabulous hat you had your eye on at the costume store? I can tell you this is true. Also if anyone would like some fake cigarettes I will gladly provide them to you. They puff, but apparently only when nobody's watching.
ANYWAY, I would like to say that my friend Peter is a genius when it comes to writing murder mysteries. That's right friends, this wasn't out of some box you'd buy at the same place people go to play Dungeons and Dragons, this is 100% original. A couple years ago he wrote one w/a Batman theme, and it wasn't just a dinner--it was a dinner, a sleepover, AND a breakfast...and there was a wake complete w/a coffin. Yes. So this one he wrote was set in the 1930s, and we were all Hollywood figures involved in a movie starring Mae East, who was unfortunately was murdered by someone at the party. I was Anise Rogers, an AMAZING choreographer (I know, it's hilarious b/c I totally can't dance and don't have anything even remotely close to a dancer's body...haha) and Jacob was Edward Courier, screenwriter (yeah yeah, that one fits).
Ok so I'd like to interject here that I was nervous about actually PLAYING the game, because for the Batman one Jacob and I were the moderators--meaning we were there to answer questions and stage the events to keep the plot rolling. Plus I got to videotape a lot of it, which is always fun.
Once we all arrived, we were each given an envelope to give us more information on who we were and the information we knew--plus a set of objectives to be accomplished by the end of the evening. So I opened mine and I'm reading through it and then I realize that I'm one of the murderers (yes, there were actually 2 of us...the other one being Jimmy, the film editor)...DUN DUN DUN. I was so excited, seriously. So yeah, after we'd all read up on ourselves, we were set loose to try to meet our objectives. Mainly we all just walked around in groups of 2 or 3 and tried to get information out of each other...and Jimmy and I did our best to cover up our crime and place the blame on others. We had some dinner (with the most amazing blueberry bread pudding ever--go Peter, go) and then the real craziness started. Some of us (myself included) were buying drugs, some were running underground sex clubs (um, you know this is just pretend, right?), and there were affairs and cheating and lies and it was such good fun. Which doesn't sound like good fun when I put it that way, but I'm going to go ahead and blame that on the whole night drunk thing. Yup.
So, being that we were murderers, Jimmy and I had the wonderful opportunity to each "kill" one of the other characters in the last hour of the game. I picked Edward (who was Jacob), because I had just sold him Mae's will and I needed to get it back before it changed hands (when you kill someone you get all their stuff, which was also nice b/c Edward had made a lot of money selling drugs so I ended up being rich too). He was not pleased when he found out I killed him haha. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Jimmy picked Eden (who was my friend Cajsa) because we wanted to frame her boyfriend Rhett, who was actually a closet homosexual. Hey, he had a good motive.
And after all that--I'm happy to report that we were able to successfully meet our objectives and nobody figured out who did it. Well, there were some suspicions it was Jimmy (and a couple people snagged his envelope and read that he was the murderer, but I don't count them since they didn't figure it out by themselves) but nobody figured it was me too. Yes, I'm quite proud of myself.
Ok kids. It's 3:15am and I am definitely sleepy now. I probably left stuff out, which I hate to do because it deserves a better description. Sorry. Enjoy the pictures haha.


We are so hot. My coat totally makes me look fat but I don't even care, it was awesome.

What are we doing? I don't even know. But this is me, Peter, and Cajsa. We're crazy, apparently.

Jacob right after I killed him and took all his money. Poor guy...

And here's...some of us.

Just When I Thought I'd Heard it All...

...I had tonight's customer. Not that I want my blog to be a bitchfest, and really I planned my next post to be about the fabulous murder mystery party we attended on Saturday night (thrown by my brilliant friend Peter), but I have some things to get off my chest. I should probably wait until tomorrow since it's 3am, but whatever.

So I've now been a customer service supervisor at work for over 6 months now. At this point, I've heard a LOT. I joke that my soul is dead...I'm pretty damn calloused, and while I still get yelled at on mostly a daily basis, it rarely phases me or even upsets me any more. I guess that's my bad for thinking I'd heard it all. Because tonight...wow, I've never had anyone speak to me the way this guy did.

To keep a long story (relatively) short, the guy was pissed b/c he thought our sales rep had taken advantage of his parents. Yes, he's not even a freaking customer, his parents are. We do get these calls from time to time, with children trying to stick up for their parents...who apparently shouldn't be held responsible for their actions even though they're adults. His parents had been given a standard deal as far as our systems go--their contract length was the standard 5 years and they were even given the discount price. But this guy apparently has a system of his own, where his contract is supposedly much shorter and the montly rate half of what we charge. His demand was to either cancel their account or lower their rate, neither of which we do after the contract is signed (this is why you should read contracts before you sign them!). I'd like to point out that it's not like his parents called, were told they can't cancel and he called in response to that. We haven't heard from his parents. There is no indication they're unhappy w/their system.

But the thing that made this call different from the other escalated calls I take--well, there are several things actually. I've been told "You don't care," I've been told "I can't understand how you sleep at night"--but this guy literally told me I'm a horrible person, and that I'm dead inside. He told me I have no conscience. He asked if I'm religious, and when I told him I wasn't going to answer that, he told me that God thinks I'm a bad person. He told me I must hate my parents and grandparents. He told me he hoped that after we got off the phone that I had a really good cry because if I didn't, I'd know that I have no soul. Basically he verbally assaulted me for 20 minutes. Every time I tried to say something, he cut me off. And when I managed to get something out, he twisted my words and tried to (unsuccessfully) use them against me. Until finally, I kinda lost it with him. I told him I know I'm a good person, that I definitely have a conscience, and just because I wasn't telling him what he wanted to hear was NOT justification for disrespecting me like that. He asked if I'd be upset if my parents were "conned" into signing up for the rip off that is our system, I said I'd be upset if my parents signed a legal document without reading it first, and that it is not my problem or the company's problem if his parents signed it before reading it. He asked if I agreed with the policies of the company, I said whether or not I agreed with them is irrelevant because they are printed on the contract in black and white and if his parents didn't like them, they shouldn't have signed it. And as he continued to interrupt me to remind me what a horrible person I am, I told him I was sick of him putting words in my mouth and treating me like crap and if he didn't stop right that moment I was hanging up on him.

And then...he pulled this "I'm a Christian, I'm going to pray for your soul because you're a bad person" shit. Tell me people, what is Christian about spending a good chunk of your evening trying to break someone down and make them feel horrible...for something they didn't even have any part of?? Last time I checked, that was not the method Jesus used, EVER. The hypocrisy KILLS me, it really does. So I guess that people are gonna say what they're gonna say. But I'd like to point out that God is not a weapon. And that is what I told this guy. He said he wasn't using Him as one. YEAH RIGHT.

Anyway...well, I don't really have a good conclusion for this. I guess I really did need to vent. So thanks for listening, I guess.

Happy Birthday to Me

So I decided for my birthday this year that we were going to Vegas, which we did. And it was good times, as usual. :-)

Here's a shot of the lovely hotel we stayed at...last time I stayed at the Excalibur was let's see...high school.

And here is our favorite aspect of the room--very large flatscreen TV. Awesome.

We always go to the gardens at the Bellagio. The theme this time was very zen-like, oh and they had a butterfly house.

For me, watching the fountain show at the Bellagio while eating gelato is an absolute must.

Awwwww, we're so cute....

Small Planes+Julie=Not Good

Ever since Jacob got his private pilot's license, he's been asking me when I'm going to go flying with him. Being terrified of heights and wondering how I would possibly be safe in a plane that is almost as small as my car, I've come up with all sorts of excuses. However, the weather has been so beautiful lately (with the exception of last week's snow storm--UGH, still bitter about that...) that I finally ran out of excuses and agreed to go.

Sunday was the day--we drove to the Spanish Fork airport where Jacob had rented a plane for a couple of hours. I was so impressed and pleased watching him do the pre-flight inspection of the plane; he is very thorough and takes the time to check everything properly, which is important because if you don't you could die. And I like Jacob, I want him around for a while. When he ran out of things to check, we strapped ourselves in and headed for the runway.

Before I knew it we had taken off and were rapidly ascending--there were a few bumps on the way up but nothing too scary (only slightly alarming). I relaxed and enjoyed the view...snapped a couple pictures...

...and was generally enjoying myself until we got up a little higher where the air was quite choppy. At which point the color promptly drained from my face (or so I'm told) and I began to fight the urge to throw up. Jacob tried to make it better by going back down to the less choppy air, but it was too late--my nausea was not going away and our only option was to get me back down to the ground where I could sit very, very still and wait for it to pass.

For the record, I managed not to throw up (although it was extremely close), and Jacob's landing was amazing--smooth as silk. Literally it was better than any landing I've ever experienced while flying a large, commercial airline--so I was very impressed, he's an awesome pilot. And after a couple hours sitting on the couch sipping a Dr. Pepper (it makes everything better), I started to feel a bit better.

I think I'd better get me some Dramamine.

Thieves are Jerks

So I woke up this morning, gave some attention to my cats, and logged into the computer to check my e-mail/facebook/blog/etc. I was browsing through the facebook updates of my friends, and saw that Jacob had updated his status to say this:

"Jacob Hodgen got to practice his tough guy technique tonight after catching someone trying to steal out of his car: yell, grab, slam, frisk, spin, threaten, slap, send packing with tail between legs."

To which I promptly replied,

"WHAT?"

And then proceeded to call Jacob as he had not come home from work yet (graveyard shifts are fun). I guess last night as Jacob was leaving for work (1:30am approximately), one of the couples that lives here was out smoking w/a friend--they have to do it in the parking lot b/c smoking isn't allowed in the apartments or within 25 feet of them (which I love). So they finished smoking, said goodbye to their friend...then headed back to their apartment and the friend went to his car which was parked next to ours. Mind you, Jacob was about 20 feet behind him. I guess the guy looked over and saw that our car was unlocked...

Ok, I need to interject here, this is our Thunderbird, which is really old and rapidly turning into a big pile of crap. For some reason, the unlock mechanism is all screwed up so the only way to unlock the doors is with a keyfob, which has a dead battery so we've just been leaving the doors unlocked (we learned to do that after having to call a locksmith to unlock it about 2 or 3 times...). So that's why it was unlocked. We will remedy the keyfob situation first thing tomorrow.

...so he opened the door and start digging around in our car. What the hell. Then my husband, being the "I know karate and I'm always looking for ways to use it" guy that he is, yelled "HEY! What do you think you're doing (Uh--there may have been a few more choice words in there...just a few...)??" Our thieving friend, knowing he was caught, immediately insisted he didn't take anything. Jacob then grabbed him and threw him against his car and proceded to frisk him, full on cop-style. He emptied his pockets and after finding that he had not actually stolen anything, told him to get out of there and stop trying to steal our stuff, then he smacked him across the face and let him go. At which point the little jerk hurried into his car and drove away, tail between his legs.

I'm pretty disgusted that someone would try to steal things just because it's easy, but I know it happens all the time so I should just get over it and be more careful. Stupid little punk. At least my husband's awesome like that (and very pleased with himself). :-)

Snow

Ode to Snow (or the lack thereof)

------------------------------------

O Snow you white menace

I really do hate thee

You are cold, you are wet

You are very, very slippery

-----------------------------

I only will tolerate you

Just one time a year

It's a time of gift giving

And lots of good cheer

-----------------------------

But after the carols

and presents are done

Why, then you annoy

and you're not any fun

-----------------------------

Gradually, though,

You do melt away

We all are excited

"Let's play outside today!"

----------------------------

But Snow, you're the devil

and just when we think

you've left for the season

You're back in a blink

----------------------------

A blizzard befalls us

You cover the road

You make driving scary

I cannot get home

----------------------------

So Snow, I've decided

Since I cannot escape

From your awful, cold presence

(.....wait for it.....wait for it.....)

I'm moving to Florida.

I pinch...

So Jacob and I had some friends over on Saturday night, and somehow we got to talking about this Honda Element commercial...which is one of my favorites. Yeah. After it first aired on TV, Jacob and I probably spent a month pinching each other just so we could say, "I pinch." We are so awesome it kills me. Anyway, I figured I'd post it here so you can all be motivated to go around pinching your significant others for no good reason. Enjoy!

Flashlights and Ghosties

Ok so I meant to write this on Saturday but other things kept coming up and now I finally have the time to sit down and write it. Although I guess you all can just read the article Jacob wrote, it's as good a description as I will write here, except he's a total skeptic and I'm a total believer so the tone will be a bit different.

ANYWAY, being the wife of a journalist has its advantages, such as when he's writing a story about ghost hunting and gets invited on an actual ghost hunt, I get to accompany him as his photographer. I've gone to plenty of things as his photographer before, but I've never been as excited as I was for this excursion.

Many of you know I have a huge interest in ghosts and the paranormal. Haven't always been that way, it comes from living in what I'm convinced was a haunted (among other things--like wet and moldy thanks to the regular flooding) apartment in Provo a few years ago. I had several experiences there, ranging from knowing I was being watched to actually seeing someone else in my house when I knew darn well I was there by myself (at which point I promptly left and spent the evening at my Mom's until Jacob got home). Living in that house changed me; I developed a need to know more, so I started reading everything I could get my hands on regarding the subject. I have an entire shelf full of various books on ghosts and paranormal phenomena, most of which I've read at least twice.

So you can understand how excited I was at the prospect of going with an actual ghost hunting team to check out a supposedly haunted site. We met at the leader of the team's house in Roy and carpooled to a hotel in Ogden...it was a pretty run-down place, with all sorts of people living there...truth be told I was more afraid of the living occupants than the dead ones. Anyway, there were 2 areas to investigate: the first was a hallway where people had supposedly heard the laughter of a little girl without seeing her. Some guests had actually reported having their hands grabbed by the child, but of course there was nobody there. The second area was one of the rooms where there had been an actual death. The cause of death was a drug overdose, but there was foul play suspected, possibly someone had given the deceased a lethal combination of drugs or what not. Jacob and I started out in the hallway...snapped a couple pictures...

...and after looking at the pics, we joked that we caught an orb (which is a manifestation of spirit energy that's invisible to the naked eye but can be caught on camera--I personally don't consider orbs proof of paranormal activity since they're just circular blobs and can be caused by various non-paranormal things), but really it's just dust.

Anyway, after we'd been in the hallway a few minutes one of the guys from the team came and reported that they were having some activity in the other room, so we headed over there, and that's when the craziness began. Here's the set up: they had a flashlight sitting on the bed and another on the floor; they were the kind you turn on by twisting the top, and they had twisted them so that they were just barely off. In this position we could still turn them on without twisting them any more, but we had to hit the bed or stomp on the floor really hard. They could not be turned on by blowing on them, or tapping them--it took a significant amount of vibration around them to get them on. So Jacob and I were sitting in chairs, and the other 2 people were sitting on the floor. At this point they started asking "the ghost" to turn the pink flashlight on, which it did. Then they asked it to turn the black flashlight on, which it did. After the lights had turned back off, they asked it to turn on the black, then the pink...which it did. We switched the location of the flashlights and requested it turn them on in sequence again, and it did. So then we designated the pink flashlight as yes and the black as no and proceded to ask questions, such as "did you die here" and "was your death an accident" and stuff. Throughout the evening, several questions were asked and answered. For accuracy, they did ask the same questions 3-4 times (not in a row), and the thing that really got me was that the answers were consistent...we did NOT get conflicting answers.

What we learned was that "the ghost" was that of the person who died in that room and he was stuck there, his death was not murder--I think he considered it to be an accident because he answered yes to hurting himself but no to committing suicide, he did not have any children, he did NOT like being asked about drugs (whenever we'd ask about drugs he wouldn't answer, and then when we'd ask if the questions were making him mad he would immediately turn on the yes flashlight, really brightly), and for some reason he really didn't like one of the guys on the team and whenever we'd ask if he wanted him to leave, he'd immediately answer yes (in fact, this was the 2nd time they were investigating this place and last time this individual was pushed to the ground by something while in that room...and let me tell you, he's not a little guy at all).

Anyway--it was REALLY fascinating. Can I say for sure it was a ghost? No, even though I'd like to believe it was. I'm just saying, we couldn't feel any vibrations on the floor, there was no timing to the flashlights turning on so I don't think it was as a result of an electrical current or whatever...and ultimately, the answers we got were consistent no matter where we put the flashlights. So that's not something I can explain. The team is going to go back to do more tests and maybe they'll figure out what caused it. I still think it was mighty funky.

So yeah, that was our Friday night. If Jacob's editor likes the story, Jacob wants to make it a 3-part series and if that's the case, we will probably get to go ghost hunting a couple more times. Although I don't know if we'll ever get to see anything like this again, according to the team nights like we had are extremely rare. Anyway, here are a few more pictures...

Creepy looking, huh?

Here's the guy that our ghost friend didn't like...as you can see, it would take a lot of force to push him to the ground.

Here's our "yes" flashlight.

Teaser

Ok, so it's 3:30am and I really go to bed now...but I had an amazing night (if I wasn't so drop dead tired I'd blog all about it right now) and I'm super excited about it. However, I want to take my time and make it a good one, so I will get some sleep first. Let me just tell you this: I didn't see any dead people, but I talked to them and they talked back...kind of. It was awesome!!!!